If You Fail This 10-Second Test, Your Risk Of Death Doubles

 

Fatherly
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Jun 27, 2022

 

It goes without saying that it’s easier for couples to get along when life is
running smoothly. But during tough times that are full of strife, difficulty, or
uncertainty, holding on to harmony becomes infinitely more difficult for many
couples. It’s those tough times that test the strength of your relationship.

Psychologists say stressful events or even crises aren’t likely to
single-handedly break up strong partnerships. Couples can get through tough
times with their relationships intact. But it helps if they’re flexible,
empathic, and team-oriented. The glue binding couples even in times of strife,
in fact, isn’t that mysterious. Here’s what couples able to weather struggles
together tend to have in common, and how to strengthen those qualities in your
own relationship.

 

LOVE

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  Couples Who Make It Through Tough Times Share These 8 Traits
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  In the long run, this is the stuff that really matters.
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Two Traits of Relationships That Endure  

01
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They accept each other. Research suggests the most important ingredient in
sustaining a long-term relationship is emotional accessibility or availability,
says Brent Sweitzer, a licensed professional counselor in Cumming, Georgia. This
can show up in many ways, he says, but it’s the answer to the question, “Will
you be there for me when I need you?”

Put another way, couples able to weather tough times together tend to have
established emotional safety, says Jennifer VanBoxel, marriage and family
therapist and a trauma researcher and instructor at Michigan State University.
“It can be really difficult to achieve, especially when couples are struggling,”
VanBoxel says. “But with that sense of safety and security, people feel they can
be exactly who they are in the moment and still be accepted and understood.”

 

01
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They Know Themselves The way people react to stress differs greatly and has a
lot to do with their upbringing, says Laura Petiford, a marriage and family
therapist in Fairfield, Connecticut. Some people might yell when they’re upset,
for example, or tend to run away and avoid their partner during stressful times.
“If the person you love is distant, it can bring about a kind of panic – the
same panic that a child feels when their mother, father, or caregiver is nowhere
to be found,” says Los Angeles-based marriage and family therapist Ben Fineman.

The ability to manage your own emotions, therefore, is extremely important. “We
know when people have trouble managing negative feelings or chatter, the
spillover effects can negatively affect relationships,” says Ethan Kross, Ph.D.,
professor and founder of the Emotion & Self-Control Lab at the University of
Michigan. There’s no one way to react to stress, but having some awareness about
our tendencies can help keep marital problems from escalating.

 

 

FURTHER READING 10 Helpful Texts to Send Your Partner When They’re Having a Bad
Day
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How To Cultivate Emotional Safety In Your Relationship
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The 5:1 Ratio Is The Magic Formula For A Happy Marriage
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WORK

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  Want More Trust At Work? Learn How to Manage Up
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  Learning how to manage up helps you cut through the noise, earn trust, and
accomplish tasks more efficiently. This is how to do it effectively.
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MONEY

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  These are some of the immediate moves financial professionals suggest making.
 

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PARENTING

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  How to Get A Toddler To Stay In Their Bed All Night
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 Here are some tactics to try.
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HEALTH

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  If You Fail This 10-Second Test, Your Risk Of Death Doubles
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  A new study found that people who couldn't pass this test had double the risk
of dying within the next 10 years.
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SPLIT DECISIONS

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  Well, part of the solution at least.
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