Not all heroes wear shoes.

Thursday, May 12, 2022
BY NICK TURNER & CROOKED MEDIA


** -Madonna ([link removed]) , obviously
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A tectonic geopolitical event bodes well for Ukraine, and poorly for Russia, but the resolution of the war will depend on how durable the western effort in support of Ukraine proves to be.
* Finland, which shares the longest border with Russia of any country in the E.U., has announced it intends to join NATO ([link removed]) . Eager support from both Finland’s leaders and NATO member states is fueling a potentially quick application process. The new addition could help make Finland and the entire E.U. more secure, and it looks likely that Sweden will follow Finland into the alliance.

* The U.K. threw its support behind the move as well. Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who traveled to both countries to sign mutual security agreements, pledged to back Finland and Sweden against Russian threats ([link removed]) , while the process is pending. Though the wording of the agreement isn’t specific, it solidifies the pushback Russia will encounter if its troops bleed further into non-NATO Europe.

* The plan unsurprisingly raised the ire of the Kremlin. Spokesman Dmitry Peskov called the prospect of Finland joining NATO “a direct threat to Russia,” ([link removed]) and vowed vaguely to respond accordingly. The U.S. has long believed that one of Putin’s goals in invading Ukraine was to weaken NATO, but it looks like Putin might have guessed poorly.

Nevertheless, NATO’s unity and growth likely depend on public opinion against the Russian invasion remaining strong.
* Two days after the House fast-tracked a $40B Ukraine Aid package bill, the Senate sought to finalize the specifics. However, Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), America’s least favorite Paul despite strong competition, has delayed the package ([link removed]) , which he doesn’t support, on the pretext that it doesn’t include provisions for appointing a redundant “watchdog” to follow the money. Despite Paul’s reluctance, most of the Republican Senators support the current bill, including Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC).

* In addition to potentially supplying Ukraine with tons of money and equipment, the U.S. wants to ramp up its own agricultural output. Biden has proposed boosting crop production, in hopes of staving off worldwide food shortages ([link removed]) . His plan involves added insurance to encourage farmers to “double crop,” which involves planting twice a year instead of one. The practice can possibly harm the soil, which explains the need for additional insurance.

Biden’s overarching purpose, he said today ([link removed]) , is to help Putin find an offramp that will allow him to end the invasion with a shred of dignity intact. But there are pro-Putin elements in the U.S. who want the unified effort he’s to splinter ([link removed]) . It’s just like the Cold War of the ’50s, except this time the Russian sympathizers have a TV network and a whole bunch of seats in Congress.
With our constitutionally protected right to abortion under attack, abortion funds are working nonstop to make sure people can still access (and afford) abortion. You can donate now at votesaveamerica.com/roe ([link removed]) to split your contribution between more than 80 abortion funds. For analysis on upcoming Supreme Court decisions, listen to Strict Scrutiny ([link removed] ) every Tuesday wherever you get your podcasts.
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It’s a big day for Trump accountability! The House January 6 Select Committee finally got off the fence and delivered tasty subpoena sandwiches to five House Republicans ([link removed]) , including House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy and Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH). The five had previously ghosted the committees invitations to appear voluntarily. Possible bombshells await as McCarthy and Jordan were both in constant communication with Trump on that day, and McCarthy has previously claimed that Trump admitted to him his culpability for the attack on Congress—but only if (a big if) the committee is able to enforce its subpoenas.

Elsewhere on the Hill, House Natural Resources Committee Chair Raúl Grijalva and Oversight and Investigations Subcommittee Chair Katie Porter have alerted the Justice Department to a possible criminal bribery scheme ([link removed]) involving real estate developer Mike Ingram and Trump officials. As hard as it is to believe, the story involves a well-heeled top donor forking over a quarter-of-a-million dollars, and in return—gasp—long-standing environmental-review requirements *poof* vanished into thin air, leaving nothing but corruption and destruction of fragile ecosystems in its place. Also: The Justice Department itself has convened a grand jury to investigate how a bunch of classified documents ended up stashed illegally at Mar-a-Lago
([link removed]) after Trump fled the White House in disgrace.
* President Biden has ordered all flags at public federal buildings to be flown at half-staff ([link removed]) until May 16, to mark the grim milestone of one-million American COVID deaths.

* In today’s “almost sounds like good news,” the Republican Governors Association is pushing hard to re-elect Gov. Brian Kemp (R-GA), ([link removed]) despite Trump throwing his weight behind David Perdue, the former senator whom Trump bullied into running on the Big Lie. GOP fight! GOP fight!

* Sen. Tom Cotton (R-AK) wants to arrest protesters outside the homes of Supreme Court justices ([link removed]) but has received pushback from his peers, who should really consider making their point from Cotton’s front yard.

* After a dire warning from Coinbase CEO Brian Armstrong, the crypto market has seen more than $200B erased in a day ([link removed]) . That $200B was in actual dollars. Has crypto lost all (sorry) meme-ing? (Free newsletter.)

* Move over Captain Sully, and make room for the “Miracle in Flip Flops”! ([link removed]) In one of the first-ever good news stories out of Florida, a man with no flight experience—and no shoes—managed to land a plane safely after the pilot became “incapacitated.” Not all heroes wear shoes.

* Kim Jong Un, the dictator who claims to be too perfect to poop, has confirmed North Korea’s “first” COVID case. ([link removed]) No word yet on whether he confirmed it to be contagious.

* Donald Trump has sold yet another property for $375 million dollars ([link removed]) . To the immense relief of the new owners, Trump had to remove his name from the building.

* A coastal fire has claimed over two dozen homes in Laguna Beach, CA ([link removed]) . Welcome to the climate fight, two dozen rich people!

* Pharmacists in Missouri are now forbidden from proactively questioning the efficacy of ivermectin ([link removed]) in any cases and will instead be forced to mouth the words, “inconclusive at best.”

As the pandemic first took hold, bigwigs in the meat-processing industry worked with partners in the Trump administration to minimize health restrictions ([link removed]) and keep slaughterhouses slaughtering, endangering their workers in the process. The meat companies knew full well that COVID-19 was running wild in their labor force, but they nevertheless lobbied for watered-down health recommendations. Their biggest win was when Trump designated meat plants as critical infrastructure that needed to remain open. Ultimately, 59,000 workers contracted COVID, 269 of whom died. If that wasn’t bad enough, U.S. meat production still fell rapidly. By Spring 2020, meat production had slowed to 60 percent of normal because so many plants had been forced to close temporarily, shifting their focus to deep cleaning, testing, and upgrades to safety that could have been implemented much earlier.
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Life can be overwhelming, and many people are burned out without even knowing it. Symptoms of burnout can include lack of motivation, feeling helpless or trapped, detachment, fatigue, and more.

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BetterHelp ([link removed]) is customized online therapy that offers video, phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist, so you don’t have to see anyone on camera if you don’t want to.

It’s much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours.

What A Day is sponsored by BetterHelp and readers of this newsletter get 10 percent off their first month at BetterHelp.com/crooked ([link removed]) .


A nonspeaking valedictorian with autism gives her college's commencement speech ([link removed]) . News to make Peter Thiel happy: ([link removed]) memory loss has been reversed in mice by injecting them with a brain liquid from younger peers ([link removed]) .

Despite black holes being “unseeable,” astronomers have managed to produce the first image of the black hole at the center of the Milky Way galaxy ([link removed]) .

No trial needed! Man dies of heart attack while attempting to bury the body of a woman he killed ([link removed]) .
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