It’s a fixer-upper, but it’s got bad bones.

Wednesday, October 4, 2023
BY NICK TURNER & CROOKED MEDIA

- Former Trump aide Jason Miller ([link removed]) on the state of Rudy Giuliani.


Kevin McCarthy is out and a speaker pro tempore has been installed. All eyes are now on the Speaker’s chair. Who will be its next permanent occupant, and how the process of choosing them raise the profile of the Republican Party’s many shit-stirrers?

* McCarthy (R-Calif.) designated Rep. Patrick T. McHenry (N.C.) acting speaker, but McHenry’s powers are limited. ([link removed]) House Republicans are expected to hold a forum for speakership candidates on Tuesday, but why anyone would even want this job is a bit of a mystery. People do not seem to like doing it, especially Republicans—John Boehner resigned ([link removed]) from the position in 2015 and Paul Ryan declined ([link removed]) to run for reelection three years later.

* The list of of potential speaker replacement candidates is a virtual “who’s who” of “who?” ([link removed]) Jim Jordan is the first and most famous name in the bunch and he’s long been a favorite of the far-right faction opposing McCarthy. ([link removed]) Majority Leader Steve Scalise is probably the most likely candidate, but his recent cancer disclosure might cause some worry about his health. Another likely name is Majority Whip Tom Emmer of Minnesota, but he has not yet expressed interest in running. Oklahoma Rep. Kevin Hern has expressed interest. He helped to whip anti-McCarthy votes during last year’s Speaker voteapalooza.

* What do members even want out of their speaker? ([link removed]) A few things: They want someone who will help them achieve their policy goals through legislation or fundraising. They’re also looking for a member in alignment with the caucus. Whoever is selected will have to agree with the GOP party line on funding the government, aid to Ukraine, and investigations into Biden. At least one idiot wants Donald Trump to be the new speaker—Rep. Troy Nehls from Texas has filed paperwork to nominate the former president. ([link removed]) Nehls’ nominee is probably too busy being a defendant to take a side gig running the Congressional majority, though.

So those are the most likely candidates for Speaker. It’s a clown show on the Republican side, but how are the Democrats doing?

* Pelosi was ordered to immediately vacate her posh suite of offices ([link removed]) , which she has held for a long time. But since she’s not even the previous speaker of the House anymore, it makes sense. She’s also the only Democratic speaker in the last 26 years, making her move out a big one. Another House real estate victim was Rep. Steny Hoyer, D-Md., the former House majority leader, who was also asked to leave his office space.

* The Democrats were obviously integral in the ouster of McCarthy, unanimously voting against him. But that raises the question of what their ultimate goal is. They would love to install fellow Democrat Hakeem Jeffries as Speaker, because the Speaker doesn’t have to be from the majority party. ([link removed]) Of course, that is about as likely as Republicans nominating Bernie Sanders for President.

The infighting and leadership vacuum on the Republican side will undoubtedly drag this process out for a long time. And since it took 15 ballots to get McCarthy into office in the first place, it’s probably best to strap in for an even bumpier ride.

Looking for a way to tell your boss you’re over their micromanaging? Or what about setting that healthy work/life boundary with them? In this week’s Work Appropriate, Melissa & Jonathan Nightingale, internationally recognized experts on management and the modern workplace, return to answer listeners' questions about their horrible bosses with host Anne Helen Peterson. Tune into this conversation and more every Wednesday, only on Work Appropriate ([link removed]) .
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Clarence Thomas, please hold Senator Robert Menendez’s beer. Last week Menendez (D-New Jersey)_was in a Manhattan courtroom facing his second bribery indictment in a decade. ([link removed]) The senator and his wife are accused of taking hundreds of thousands of dollars in bribes—some of it in gold! Like actual pirate-treasure bars of gold!—in exchange for helping secure three hundred million dollars in U.S. assistance to Egypt. He was also accused of trying to kill criminal investigations involving New Jersey businessmen. Investigators searched their home found hidden piles of cash as well as gold bars ([link removed]) worth $100,000 and a Mercedes-Benz that was most likely an illegal gift.


But that’s mostly normal boring, stuff (except the gold bars). A new allegation concerns just how that Mercedes came into the Menendezes’ possession. In 2018, Menendez’s soon-to-be-wife, Nadine Arslanian, struck and killed a man with a different Mercedes. ([link removed]) She was determined not to have been at fault in the incident and released without a summons. It’s now alleged that Senator Menendez was willing to “suppress an unrelated criminal prosecution in exchange for a $60,000 Mercedes convertible.”


The details around the scene of the future Ms. Menendez’s accident are suspicious, investigators say, and it’s likely that Sen. Menendez intervened in the investigation: Despite killing a person with her car, Ms. Menendez was never tested for drugs or alcohol and was allowed to quickly leave the scene. Nadine Menendez is also alleged to have organized a series of dinners with her husband in exchange for bribes, all as part of the scheme to help the Egyptian government. Ginny would be proud.

(To the tune of Carmen Sandiego) WHERE IN THE WORLD IS—Donald Trump on trial?

He’s in New York for the second day of his asset inflation trial. ([link removed])

Join us tommorow for another installment of…WHERE IN THE WORLD IS—Donald Trump on trial?


Lewdy Giuliani now has an excuse for all of his terrible behavior: He was drunk! ([link removed]) Look, we didn’t say it was a good excuse. He was drunk during meetings, drunk at bars, drunk on television and during press conferences. He’s always drunk.


Giuliani also lost his second lawyer in Georgia racketeering case, leaving him with zero legal counsel. ([link removed]) If he wasn’t so drunk, he could just do it himself. But, unfortunately, Rudy Giuliani is very drunk.


75,000 Kaiser employees went on strike to protest wages and staffing issues. ([link removed]) It’s the biggest strike by healthcare workers in U.S. history and if their demands are not met, it could lead to a bigger and longer strike next month.


The phone alert heard round the country ([link removed]) finally happened today. It was pretty normal for most, but harrowing for domestic abuse victims hiding emergency phones. ([link removed])


5 were injured on Wednesday in a mass shooting at Morgan State University in Baltimore, Maryland. ([link removed]) It’s not known who the shooter was and no one has been arrested.


21 people died in a tourist bus crash in Venice, Italy. ([link removed]) The driver is suspected to have suffered from an illness right before the crash.


A woman in San Fransisco was trapped under a driverless car for hours after being hit by a driverful car ([link removed]) , which fled the scene.


Housing prices are falling. ([link removed]) Investors who put billions of dollars into single-family homes have backed off as debt costs have risen. And since owners who occupy their own homes get better rates for debt, it’s good for the regular person, right? Yes! Well, no. It would be if the monthly cost of a new mortgage wasn’t 42% of the median household income.


The patriarchy is at it again. ​Russian movie theatersare forbidden from screening American films by their government, which does not deserve Barbie,, but enterprising cinemas are screening it illegally ([link removed]) , using a clever workaround where moviegoers pay for a short flim, and the main attraction (in this case Barbie) is shown beforehand instead of trailers.

Judicial activist and conservative megadonor Leonard Leo is being investigated by D.C. Attorney General Brian Schwab for abusing nonprofit tax laws for his own personal enrichment. ([link removed]) Leo has indicated that he will not be cooperating with the investigation. Leo’s nonprofits have raised millions that were used to campaign for the nominations of conservative Supreme Court justices. Leo asserts that, since the money was raised outside of D.C., he can’t be prosecuted there. The facts—among them that his consulting firm has a D.C address and that his biggest non-profit, The 85 Club, changed their address from D.C. to Texas after the investigation began—would seem undermine this claim. Leo refuses to say what services were provided with the $43 million in donations his company raised in the last two years.


Leo’s nonprofits filled their coffers in large part with funds from Americans for Public Trust, which Politico calls a “dark money ATM” for the GOP. And since our political discourse thrives on whataboutism, Leo and his cohorts have whined that left-leaning dark money group Arabella is doing exactly what Leo has been accused of. Schwab is investigating that group as well, but Leonard Leo is the biggest fish. His outsized influence dwarfs most other fundraisers: All three of Donald Trump’s Supreme Court picks were selected from a list drawn up by Leo. And he might have gotten away with it, too if it weren’t for those meddling kids. No, wait, not meddling kids, a flashy lifestyle that raised the suspicions of the relevant authorities.
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A Better Way to Wake Up

OK—let’s spill the beans. Drinking too much coffee can lead to a surge of adrenaline and cortisol. Those hormones are great when you're fighting off a wild tiger or dodging an errant spear (hey, it could happen!), but if you’re drinking countless cups every day just to wake up, it's like trying to light a candle with a flamethrower. It’s too much.


So MUD\WTR created something better. Their OG blend is a coffee alternative made from 100% organic cacao, masala chai, and functional mushrooms. With a fraction of the caffeine found in a cup of coffee, you get the sustainable energy you need to conquer your day… without the jitters or afternoon energy crash.


Plus it tastes like a mug of hot cacao met a chai latte and they had a baby. Give it a try ([link removed]) and use code CROOKED for 15% off today.


Trump dropped off the Forbes 400, the magazine’s signature list of richest Americans. ([link removed]) His net worth has tumbled to a mere $2.6 billion this year, leaving him $300,000 short of the 400th richest American. (That would be hedge fund guy Daniel Sundheim, the last alphabetically in a five-way tie for #395.) On the one hand, Trump is losing money, but on the other, he’s not losing it fast enough for my personal taste.


President Biden has canceled another $9 billion in student debt, ([link removed]) affecting 125,000 people. The announcement comes days after a 3-year pause on student loan payments ended. It’s a great move, now do the other $1.76 billion dollars in student debt Americans are carrying around.


El Chapo’s children who are currently running the Sinoloa Cartel have banned the production and sale of Fentanyl by…their own cartel. ([link removed]) (Supposedly.) They’ve put up billboards in Sinaloa, Mexico that state: "In Sinaloa, the sale, manufacture, transport or any other business dealing with fentanyl, is strictly prohibited, including the sale of chemicals used to produce it. You have been warned. Respectfully, Los Chapitos." No word on what advertising agency landed that account.
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