50+ Messages / Page

  Brian (Crooked) · [email protected]
June 10, 2021 at 12:00 AM

What A Day: End of an error

What A Day: End of an error [[Literal ‘this is fine’ meme.] Wednesday, June 9, 2021 BY BRIAN BEUTLER & CROOKED MEDIA  -Vice President Kamala Harris, bringing the logic …
  Brian (Crooked) · [email protected]
June 9, 2021 at 12:00 AM

What A Day: Full court mess

What A Day: Full court mess Some kind of slapping conspiracy. Tuesday, June 8, 2021 BY BRIAN BEUTLER & CROOKED MEDIA  -Cher, at her most relatable Now tha…
  Brian (Crooked) · [email protected]
June 8, 2021 at 12:01 AM

What A Day: Meet Joe hack

What A Day: Meet Joe hack No H.R. 1, thus...  Monday, June 7, 2021 BY BRIAN BEUTLER & CROOKED MEDIA  -CNN's Jake Tapper to Josh Hawley's top-notch flack A…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
June 4, 2021 at 9:30 PM

What A Day: Egg on Facebook

What A Day: Egg on Facebook Hero rat: 1, Stephen Breyer: 0 Friday, June 4, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS, BRIAN BEUTLER, & CROOKED MEDIA  -Mike Pence, on the man who sent a mob to murder him …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
June 4, 2021 at 12:25 AM

What A Day: The ghost of Kyrstmas past

What A Day: The ghost of Kyrstmas past Israeli Mike Pence, get to the bunker. Thursday, June 3, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -The Trump quote proudly featured on George P. Bush's campaig…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
June 3, 2021 at 12:22 AM

What A Day: Bibi go byebye

What A Day: Bibi go byebye Netanya...who? Wednesday, June 2, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Tony Fauci, in an evergreen April 2020 email Presiden…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
June 2, 2021 at 12:47 AM

What A Day: Win in a walkout

What A Day: Win in a walkout The Joe Biden Veganism Offensive has entered Phase II. Tuesday, June 1, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Texas State Rep. Trey Martinez Fischer, with a simple a…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 28, 2021 at 9:03 PM

What A Day: Schmuck and coverup

What A Day: Schmuck and coverup Should've consulted GOP Whisperer Stephen Breyer. Friday, May 28, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS, BRIAN BEUTLER, & CROOKED MEDIA  -Justice Stephen Breyer, Republican Party U…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 28, 2021 at 12:46 AM

What A Day: Deep sixth'd

What A Day: Deep sixth'd Among the Karen-est claims in U.S. legal history. Thursday, May 27, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -A Trump adviser on the MAGA-fication of George P. Bush …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 27, 2021 at 1:00 AM

What A Day: The life zoonotic

What A Day: The life zoonotic Do better, sea snot.  Wednesday, May 26, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -John Hickenlooper, in a beautiful single-take S1 banjo serenade …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 26, 2021 at 12:10 AM

What A Day: Bipartisanshipwreck

What A Day: Bipartisanshipwreck Perfect filibuster-abolishing conditions out there. Tuesday, May 25, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -The poster for Mike Lindell's concessions-focused grift…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 25, 2021 at 12:20 AM

What A Day: Liz lemon

What A Day: Liz lemon Every great film opens with the MGM Bezos. Monday, May 24, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Andrew Yang on his favorite subway station, Times Square …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 22, 2021 at 12:51 AM

What A Day: A grift course in the south

What A Day: A grift course in the south Come and take it 🐓 Friday, May 21, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Louie Gohmert bragging about his SAT scores, as smart 67-year-olds frequently do …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 21, 2021 at 12:28 AM

What A Day: Cease and exist

What A Day: Cease and exist Insulting Ben Shapiro, a sacred American right. Thursday, May 20, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Geraldo Rivera, in a sophisticated verbal duel with Dan Bongin…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 20, 2021 at 12:52 AM

What A Day: Benny and the threats

What A Day: Benny and the threats Under investigation and blogging through it. Wednesday, May 19, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Andrew Giuliani, age 35 …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 19, 2021 at 12:37 AM

What A Day: The Kevin fear sitch

What A Day: The Kevin fear sitch An electoral buffet of terrible Andrews. Tuesday, May 18, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Joe Biden, car guy A GO…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 18, 2021 at 12:37 AM

What A Day: Barrett necessities

What A Day: Barrett necessities Justice for Martha Stewart's peacocks. Monday, May 17, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Gov. Kevin Stitt (R-OK), fundraising for his sauce-based re-election …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 15, 2021 at 12:09 AM

What A Day: New Elise on life

What A Day: New Elise on life Put the coyotes on standby. Friday, May 14, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Tony Fauci, unable to find a scientific explanation for Rand Paul …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 14, 2021 at 12:36 AM

What A Day: Vax-on, Mask-off

What A Day: Vax-on, Mask-off The CDC says start licking. Thursday, May 13, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Bill de Blasio, enjoying an incentivizing morning hamburger …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 13, 2021 at 12:47 AM

What A Day: Yanking their Cheney

What A Day: Yanking their Cheney Nightmare Fish for Governor '21 Wednesday, May 12, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Adam Kinziger, murdering Matt Gaetz with his own dunk …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 12, 2021 at 12:29 AM

What A Day: A total 'yahu

What A Day: A total 'yahu Cancel culture, horse ointment, who can say. Tuesday, May 11, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -The Houston Police Department, casually tracking down a big loose ti…
  Brian (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 11, 2021 at 12:10 AM

What A Day: Cancel vultures

What A Day: Cancel vultures Oh, good, another uptick in fission at Chernobyl! Monday, May 10, 2021 BY BRIAN BEUTLER & CROOKED MEDIA  -Marco Rubio, crushing the dignity game after Trump blogged abo…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 7, 2021 at 12:02 AM

What A Day: High-Breyer act

What A Day: High-Breyer act Look, Canada already bought jean jackets. Thursday, May 6, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Caitlyn Jenner, connecting to the common voters with a tale of privat…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 6, 2021 at 12:54 AM

What A Day: Suspending, pending ending

What A Day: Suspending, pending ending These normals are not normal. Wednesday, May 5, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -A very real female CIA analyst, who absolutely said this to Mike Pomp…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 5, 2021 at 12:43 AM

What A Day: The long, shot summer

What A Day: The long, shot summer Better hope NYC kids haven't seen Newsies.  Tuesday, May 4, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Rudy Giuliani, who was, until last week, America's Most Credib…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 4, 2021 at 1:32 AM

What A Day: Rom before the storm

What A Day: Rom before the storm It's not your fault, Clippy. Monday, May 3, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Michael Flynn, moments before forgetting the words to the Pledge of Allegiance …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
May 1, 2021 at 12:46 AM

What A Day: Shouldn't show Stones

What A Day: Shouldn't show Stones Happy birthday to trains. Friday, April 30, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Joe Biden on the birthday of his good friend, trains …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 30, 2021 at 12:19 AM

What A Day: Vance's with wolves

What A Day: Vance's with wolves The future is pear-shaped.  Thursday, April 29, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Rudy Giuliani's extremely Upper East Side neighbor, reporting live …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 29, 2021 at 12:20 AM

What A Day: Four Seizings Total Landscaping

What A Day: Four Seizings Total Landscaping 100 flex. Wednesday, April 28, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Joni Ernst, inadvertently pitching a hit reality show …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 28, 2021 at 12:51 AM

What A Day: Cooking the Facebooks

What A Day: Cooking the Facebooks The all-American freedom of a 14-hour drive.  Tuesday, April 27, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -The former guy, weighing in on urgent national business t…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 27, 2021 at 12:42 AM

What A Day: No Census of decency

What A Day: No Census of decency Spare a thought for the Fox News chyron writers. Monday, April 26, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Chuck Schumer, with a meaty dunk on Larry Kudlow …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 24, 2021 at 12:30 AM

What A Day: Back in the jab-it

What A Day: Back in the jab-it Brown tap water means...boy? Friday, April 23, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -A middle aged man upset that Disney World is less racist now …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 23, 2021 at 12:28 AM

What A Day: Brazilian lax

What A Day: Brazilian lax Captain of the USS Filibuster. Thursday, April 17, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Ben Shapiro, buying one piece of wood at Home Depot to own the libs …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 22, 2021 at 1:01 AM

What A Day: Blunt, ready to roll

What A Day: Blunt, ready to roll And only one day late. Wednesday, April 21, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -John Kennedy, after asking Stacey Abrams to name some bad provisions in Georgia…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 21, 2021 at 12:25 AM

What A Day: On account of three

What A Day: On account of three Get a bucket and a mop, Kevin. Tuesday, April 20, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Chuck Schumer, cool R.A. The jur…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 20, 2021 at 12:39 AM

What A Day: Muddying the Waters

What A Day: Muddying the Waters One giant leap for helicopterkind. Monday, April 19, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -MyPillow Guy Mike Lindell, getting prank-called on live TV …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 17, 2021 at 12:49 AM

What A Day: On the right backtrack

What A Day: On the right backtrack How the mighty have Falwellen. Friday, April 16, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Louie Gohmert, doing his darndest to defend Matt Gaetz …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 16, 2021 at 12:58 AM

What A Day: A real vax-22

What A Day: A real vax-22 Buttery, delicious, and poised to strike.  Thursday, April 15, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Maxine Waters, fulfilling a nation's fantasy of shutting up Jim Jord…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 15, 2021 at 12:39 AM

What A Day: Madoff off Broadway

What A Day: Madoff off Broadway A boat that was born to be stuck. Wednesday, April 14, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -A GOP lawmaker, when asked a question about Matt Gaetz …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 14, 2021 at 12:29 AM

What A Day: Johnny on the stop

What A Day: Johnny on the stop And yet The Masked Singer sings on.  Tuesday, April 13, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -MyPillow Guy Mike Lindell, on his no-holds-barred free speech platform…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 13, 2021 at 12:45 AM

What A Day: The plot Nikkens

What A Day: The plot Nikkens Even a broken clock, etc.  Monday, April 12, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -John Cornyn (quoting Politico), thirsting for deranged presidential tweets …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 10, 2021 at 12:30 AM

What A Day: Deflate of the union

What A Day: Deflate of the union Attempted murder, the seed of collaboration. Friday, April 9, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -GOP Kansas Senate Majority Leader Gene Suellentrop, drunkenly …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 9, 2021 at 12:40 AM

What A Day: One small step for ban

What A Day: One small step for ban Manchin's in his flop-ed era. Thursday, April 8, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Marsha Blackburn, accidentally doing pure p.r. for the American Jobs Plan…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 8, 2021 at 12:39 AM

What A Day: A hard strain's a-gonna fall

What A Day: A hard strain's a-gonna fall Fat electrons will have their day. Wednesday, April 7, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -NRA chief Wayne LaPierre on his convenient Gun Violence Escap…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 7, 2021 at 12:24 AM

What A Day: Home run derpy

What A Day: Home run derpy Oh no, baseball without Stephen Miller. Tuesday, April 6, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Greg Gutfeld, Fox News comedy powerhouse …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 6, 2021 at 12:44 AM

What A Day: Parl of wisdom

What A Day: Parl of wisdom If it's not in a Richard Scarry book, is it infrastructure? Monday, April 5, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -8kun administrator Ron Watkins, upon accidentally out…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 3, 2021 at 12:25 AM

What A Day: Gaetz crasher

What A Day: Gaetz crasher TGIF, off to the local closed municipal offices. Friday, April 2, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -John Boehner feelin' loose during his audiobook recording session…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 2, 2021 at 1:01 AM

What A Day: Green bill of health

What A Day: Green bill of health Still time to add a tiny windows clause. Thursday, April 1, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Newsmax Anchor Greg Kelly, on his normal marijuana experience …
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
April 1, 2021 at 12:39 AM

What A Day: Quiet Coke

What A Day: Quiet Coke Relax, Major's dad is wearing a wire. Wednesday, March 31, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Matt Gaetz implicating Tucker Carlson as a witness in a sex-trafficking pro…
  Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]
March 31, 2021 at 12:43 AM

What A Day: PizzaGaetz

What A Day: PizzaGaetz What's the opposite of a chef's kiss? Tuesday, March 30, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -A Capitol rioter's t-shirt at the time of his arrest …