Sarah (Crooked) · [email protected]

May 26, 2021 at 12:10 AM

What A Day: Bipartisanshipwreck

What A Day: Bipartisanshipwreck Perfect filibuster-abolishing conditions out there. Tuesday, May 25, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -The poster for Mike Lindell's concessions-focused grift…

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May 25, 2021 at 12:20 AM

What A Day: Liz lemon

What A Day: Liz lemon Every great film opens with the MGM Bezos. Monday, May 24, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Andrew Yang on his favorite subway station, Times Square …

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May 22, 2021 at 12:51 AM

What A Day: A grift course in the south

What A Day: A grift course in the south Come and take it 🐓 Friday, May 21, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Louie Gohmert bragging about his SAT scores, as smart 67-year-olds frequently do …

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May 21, 2021 at 12:28 AM

What A Day: Cease and exist

What A Day: Cease and exist Insulting Ben Shapiro, a sacred American right. Thursday, May 20, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Geraldo Rivera, in a sophisticated verbal duel with Dan Bongin…

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May 20, 2021 at 12:52 AM

What A Day: Benny and the threats

What A Day: Benny and the threats Under investigation and blogging through it. Wednesday, May 19, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Andrew Giuliani, age 35 …

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May 19, 2021 at 12:37 AM

What A Day: The Kevin fear sitch

What A Day: The Kevin fear sitch An electoral buffet of terrible Andrews. Tuesday, May 18, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Joe Biden, car guy A GO…

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May 18, 2021 at 12:37 AM

What A Day: Barrett necessities

What A Day: Barrett necessities Justice for Martha Stewart's peacocks. Monday, May 17, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Gov. Kevin Stitt (R-OK), fundraising for his sauce-based re-election …

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May 15, 2021 at 12:09 AM

What A Day: New Elise on life

What A Day: New Elise on life Put the coyotes on standby. Friday, May 14, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Tony Fauci, unable to find a scientific explanation for Rand Paul …

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May 14, 2021 at 12:36 AM

What A Day: Vax-on, Mask-off

What A Day: Vax-on, Mask-off The CDC says start licking. Thursday, May 13, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Bill de Blasio, enjoying an incentivizing morning hamburger …

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May 13, 2021 at 12:47 AM

What A Day: Yanking their Cheney

What A Day: Yanking their Cheney Nightmare Fish for Governor '21 Wednesday, May 12, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Adam Kinziger, murdering Matt Gaetz with his own dunk …

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May 12, 2021 at 12:29 AM

What A Day: A total 'yahu

What A Day: A total 'yahu Cancel culture, horse ointment, who can say. Tuesday, May 11, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -The Houston Police Department, casually tracking down a big loose ti…

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May 11, 2021 at 12:10 AM

What A Day: Cancel vultures

What A Day: Cancel vultures Oh, good, another uptick in fission at Chernobyl! Monday, May 10, 2021 BY BRIAN BEUTLER & CROOKED MEDIA  -Marco Rubio, crushing the dignity game after Trump blogged abo…

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May 7, 2021 at 12:02 AM

What A Day: High-Breyer act

What A Day: High-Breyer act Look, Canada already bought jean jackets. Thursday, May 6, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Caitlyn Jenner, connecting to the common voters with a tale of privat…

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May 6, 2021 at 12:54 AM

What A Day: Suspending, pending ending

What A Day: Suspending, pending ending These normals are not normal. Wednesday, May 5, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -A very real female CIA analyst, who absolutely said this to Mike Pomp…

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May 5, 2021 at 12:43 AM

What A Day: The long, shot summer

What A Day: The long, shot summer Better hope NYC kids haven't seen Newsies.  Tuesday, May 4, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Rudy Giuliani, who was, until last week, America's Most Credib…

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May 4, 2021 at 1:32 AM

What A Day: Rom before the storm

What A Day: Rom before the storm It's not your fault, Clippy. Monday, May 3, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Michael Flynn, moments before forgetting the words to the Pledge of Allegiance …

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May 1, 2021 at 12:46 AM

What A Day: Shouldn't show Stones

What A Day: Shouldn't show Stones Happy birthday to trains. Friday, April 30, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Joe Biden on the birthday of his good friend, trains …

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April 30, 2021 at 12:19 AM

What A Day: Vance's with wolves

What A Day: Vance's with wolves The future is pear-shaped.  Thursday, April 29, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Rudy Giuliani's extremely Upper East Side neighbor, reporting live …

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April 29, 2021 at 12:20 AM

What A Day: Four Seizings Total Landscaping

What A Day: Four Seizings Total Landscaping 100 flex. Wednesday, April 28, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Joni Ernst, inadvertently pitching a hit reality show …

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April 28, 2021 at 12:51 AM

What A Day: Cooking the Facebooks

What A Day: Cooking the Facebooks The all-American freedom of a 14-hour drive.  Tuesday, April 27, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -The former guy, weighing in on urgent national business t…

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April 27, 2021 at 12:42 AM

What A Day: No Census of decency

What A Day: No Census of decency Spare a thought for the Fox News chyron writers. Monday, April 26, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Chuck Schumer, with a meaty dunk on Larry Kudlow …

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April 24, 2021 at 12:30 AM

What A Day: Back in the jab-it

What A Day: Back in the jab-it Brown tap water means...boy? Friday, April 23, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -A middle aged man upset that Disney World is less racist now …

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April 23, 2021 at 12:28 AM

What A Day: Brazilian lax

What A Day: Brazilian lax Captain of the USS Filibuster. Thursday, April 17, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Ben Shapiro, buying one piece of wood at Home Depot to own the libs …

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April 22, 2021 at 1:01 AM

What A Day: Blunt, ready to roll

What A Day: Blunt, ready to roll And only one day late. Wednesday, April 21, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -John Kennedy, after asking Stacey Abrams to name some bad provisions in Georgia…

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April 21, 2021 at 12:25 AM

What A Day: On account of three

What A Day: On account of three Get a bucket and a mop, Kevin. Tuesday, April 20, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Chuck Schumer, cool R.A. The jur…

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April 20, 2021 at 12:39 AM

What A Day: Muddying the Waters

What A Day: Muddying the Waters One giant leap for helicopterkind. Monday, April 19, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -MyPillow Guy Mike Lindell, getting prank-called on live TV …

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April 17, 2021 at 12:49 AM

What A Day: On the right backtrack

What A Day: On the right backtrack How the mighty have Falwellen. Friday, April 16, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA  -Louie Gohmert, doing his darndest to defend Matt Gaetz …

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April 16, 2021 at 12:58 AM

What A Day: A real vax-22

What A Day: A real vax-22 Buttery, delicious, and poised to strike.  Thursday, April 15, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Maxine Waters, fulfilling a nation's fantasy of shutting up Jim Jord…

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April 15, 2021 at 12:39 AM

What A Day: Madoff off Broadway

What A Day: Madoff off Broadway A boat that was born to be stuck. Wednesday, April 14, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -A GOP lawmaker, when asked a question about Matt Gaetz …

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April 14, 2021 at 12:29 AM

What A Day: Johnny on the stop

What A Day: Johnny on the stop And yet The Masked Singer sings on.  Tuesday, April 13, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -MyPillow Guy Mike Lindell, on his no-holds-barred free speech platform…

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April 13, 2021 at 12:45 AM

What A Day: The plot Nikkens

What A Day: The plot Nikkens Even a broken clock, etc.  Monday, April 12, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -John Cornyn (quoting Politico), thirsting for deranged presidential tweets …

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April 10, 2021 at 12:30 AM

What A Day: Deflate of the union

What A Day: Deflate of the union Attempted murder, the seed of collaboration. Friday, April 9, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -GOP Kansas Senate Majority Leader Gene Suellentrop, drunkenly …

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April 9, 2021 at 12:40 AM

What A Day: One small step for ban

What A Day: One small step for ban Manchin's in his flop-ed era. Thursday, April 8, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Marsha Blackburn, accidentally doing pure p.r. for the American Jobs Plan…

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April 8, 2021 at 12:39 AM

What A Day: A hard strain's a-gonna fall

What A Day: A hard strain's a-gonna fall Fat electrons will have their day. Wednesday, April 7, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -NRA chief Wayne LaPierre on his convenient Gun Violence Escap…

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April 7, 2021 at 12:24 AM

What A Day: Home run derpy

What A Day: Home run derpy Oh no, baseball without Stephen Miller. Tuesday, April 6, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Greg Gutfeld, Fox News comedy powerhouse …

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April 6, 2021 at 12:44 AM

What A Day: Parl of wisdom

What A Day: Parl of wisdom If it's not in a Richard Scarry book, is it infrastructure? Monday, April 5, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -8kun administrator Ron Watkins, upon accidentally out…

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April 3, 2021 at 12:25 AM

What A Day: Gaetz crasher

What A Day: Gaetz crasher TGIF, off to the local closed municipal offices. Friday, April 2, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -John Boehner feelin' loose during his audiobook recording session…

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April 2, 2021 at 1:01 AM

What A Day: Green bill of health

What A Day: Green bill of health Still time to add a tiny windows clause. Thursday, April 1, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Newsmax Anchor Greg Kelly, on his normal marijuana experience …

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April 1, 2021 at 12:39 AM

What A Day: Quiet Coke

What A Day: Quiet Coke Relax, Major's dad is wearing a wire. Wednesday, March 31, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Matt Gaetz implicating Tucker Carlson as a witness in a sex-trafficking pro…

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March 31, 2021 at 12:43 AM

What A Day: PizzaGaetz

What A Day: PizzaGaetz What's the opposite of a chef's kiss? Tuesday, March 30, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -A Capitol rioter's t-shirt at the time of his arrest …

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March 30, 2021 at 12:25 AM

What A Day: Rochelle, shocked

What A Day: Rochelle, shocked The disgraced former tacky Victorian ghost. Monday, March 29, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Lindsey Graham, on how he thinks the aftermath of a natural disas…

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March 28, 2021 at 12:00 PM

Don’t tell Sarah I sent this

Don’t tell Sarah I sent this So this isn’t Sarah. It’s actually Jason. (Hi, I’m Jason Concepcion.) Sarah doesn’t let people take over this email often, but she made this exception for me so I could tel…

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March 27, 2021 at 12:24 AM

What A Day: Boot Kemp

What A Day: Boot Kemp Mitch is gonna freak when he finds out. Friday, March 26, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -OAN, accusing the big stuck boat of two deliberate dick moves …

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March 26, 2021 at 1:03 AM

What A Day: Hindsight's 60+60

What A Day: Hindsight's 60+60 Check out Jokes Biden over here. Thursday, March 25, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Joe Biden, making one quick malarkey exception …

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March 25, 2021 at 12:12 AM

What A Day: More like Suez Can't-al

What A Day: More like Suez Can't-al One Direction’s silence is deafening. Wednesday, March 24, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Jen Psaki, on how Joe Biden is prepping for his big press conf…

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March 24, 2021 at 12:29 AM

What A Day: Checks, please

What A Day: Checks, please Let's hear it for elections that eventually end. Tuesday, March 23, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Sidney Powell's legal defense of her election-fraud claim...pe…

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March 23, 2021 at 12:35 AM

What A Day: Fifty-first waits

What A Day: Fifty-first waits The Bills-board Top 40 Monday, March 22, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Rep. Jody Hice (R-GA), spouting enough garbage to negate his own point …

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March 20, 2021 at 12:34 AM

What A Day: Schooler heads prevail

What A Day: Schooler heads prevail Today in Predictive Text Headlines Friday, March 19, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Sean Hannity, a vaping deer in headlights …

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March 19, 2021 at 12:33 AM

What A Day: Export in a storm

What A Day: Export in a storm All-you-can-eat vaccines for life! Thursday, March 18, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Lindsey Graham threatening filibuster reformers with a good time …

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March 18, 2021 at 12:42 AM

What A Day: The Latest on Georgia

What A Day: The Latest on Georgia Buckle up for the opposite of a surprise. Wednesday, March 17, 2021 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -A doctor who denies vaccinating Eric Trump …

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