Friends are essential commodities. They play beer-league softball. They help with moving. They give toasts. They text you ridiculous gifs or movie quotes that distract you from the frustration of life. Still, it’s hard to prioritize those relationships when you’re being told not to. Many expect to spend the early days of fatherhood walking the same path from work to home and back again. So that’s what they do.

But friendship is a worthwhile detour, Dr. Jeff Bostic, a psychiatrist at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital, emphasized. “We’re herd animals,” he explains. “We like to be close together with people who are like us.”

Countless studies back this up. Unfortunately for men, traditional notions of masculinity often fall at odds with the emotional intimacy friendship requires. Feelings are suppressed. Hugs are left unhugged. And the urgency of a request for time together isn’t fully communicated. Men intend to get together and then don’t. They figure that their buddy doesn’t mind, that it doesn’t matter much. But it does.

So, here’s our reminder: Text your buddy back. Make those plans. Chances are, you’ll be glad you did.