Part of the reason people watch anti-heroes and villains is that there is a part of them crying out for the incorporation of the monster within them. This is what gives them strength of character and self-respect because it is impossible to respect yourself until you grow teeth. And if you grow teeth and you realize that you are somewhat dangerous, or even seriously dangerous, then you might be more willing to demand that you treat yourself with respect — and for other people to do the same thing.
That does not mean being cruel is better than not being cruel. What it means is that being able to be cruel, and then not being cruel, is better than not being able to be cruel at all. Because in the first case, you are nothing but naïve, and in the second case, you are dangerous but you have it under control. A lot of martial arts concentrate on exactly that as part of their philosophy of training. They are not training you to fight. They are training you to be peaceful and avoid fights. However, if you are competent at fighting, that actually decreases the probability you are going to have to fight. The reason is that when someone pushes you, you will be able to respond with confidence. And this is certainly the case in dealing with bullies.
It is a matter of facing the thing you least want to face. This is an interesting thing about the integration of the shadow because recognizing yourself as the locus of evil, in some sense, gives you far more respect for yourself, strangely enough, because of the same respect you might have for a wild animal or even a monster. So then maybe you learn to treat yourself differently.
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