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If you want a raise it will take a lot of courage to step into the office of your boss and say “I want a raise.” If they say, “We do not have any extra money at the time,” and if you accept that and then leave, that is not a good negotiation. If you want something, the first thing you have to do is set up options for yourself. Decide whether or not you deserve to have a raise. You cannot just ask for one; you have to make a case for it. How do you know if you are in a position to ask for a raise? Part of it is that you have other options. Put your CV or your resume in order, make it tight, and then look around to see what other employment options you have — options that you would, in fact, take — and see what your market value is. Then decide how much of a raise you want and why it would be in your boss’s best interest to offer you it.
You need to have options, and you have to negotiate from a position of strength. Also, you have to know what you want. Then you have to develop strategies for communicating what it is that you're asking for, and you have to be forthright about that. You have to think through the reasons because, otherwise, you will not have enough courage to tolerate the conflict that it might entail to withstand the negotiation.
I think if you are an agreeable type, one way of fortifying yourself is to understand how much misery and conflict you may be storing up for yourself in the future if you refuse or if you refuse to engage in reasonable negotiation on your own behalf in the present.
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