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To Taxpayer:
It has come to my attention that there’s a highly urgent deadline approaching at midnight tomorrow.
But before I share more details with you, there’s something you need to know about me: I participated in taxpayer-funded experiments on dogs.
Please know that it is very difficult for me to confess my sins to someone I haven’t met. So before you judge me, I kindly ask that you allow me a minute to explain myself.
My name is Dr. Larry Hansen. I'm a physician and board-certified pathologist. I'm involved with treating patients suffering from brain tumors, Parkinson's, and severe neurologic diseases.
I'm also ranked as one of the top 100 Alzheimer's disease researchers worldwide, with over 160 publications in the last three decades.
Back in medical school, I was instructed to vivisect (from the Latin, "vivi" - meaning, alive, and "secare" - i.e., to cut) and then kill friendly dogs, including a Golden Retriever and a black Labrador Retriever.
The Golden was the "lucky” one. We only cut her open, observed some basic physiologic functions, and killed her.
But Taxpayer, the black Labrador Retriever had it far worse...
Week after week, we performed inept and painful procedures on her (bungled mutilations, really) over and over and over again.
Then we stuck a needle in her, killed her, and dumped her body in a garbage bag — like trash.
I did it, qualms of conscience notwithstanding, because I was told it was “necessary.”
But Taxpayer, it turns out this wasn’t true. It has never been the case that doctors could better serve our patients if we had killed more dogs.
And that’s exactly why I’m writing you this note today.
The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) mandates the most painful dog tests in the United States of America. There’s often no anesthesia and no pain relief.
My colleagues at the White Coat Waste Project (WCW) were the first to expose this ancient regulation that forces pharmaceutical makers to slaughter more than 20,000 puppies every year.
But Taxpayer, the problem is even worse than we thought. It’s no longer just the private drug companies that are forced to comply.
WCW investigators just discovered that FDA white coats are making other government agencies gas, blind, and kill beagles, too – for no reason other than to satisfy outdated red tape!
Taxpayer, here’s the dirty little secret FDA white coats don’t want you to know: Experiments on dogs aren’t scientifically “necessary.”
From a scientific perspective, the problem is that dogs are not simplified versions of humans. This is why the government itself reports that 95 percent of drugs that pass animal tests — often including beagles — fail in humans because they don’t work or are dangerous.
In my specialty, Alzheimer’s disease, the drug failure rate is actually 99.6 percent, and the use of animals has recently been referred to as “a cliff over which people push bales of money.”
Yet, the FDA’s cruel bureaucrats continue to enforce the dog-testing mandate... and severely punish scientists who want to use high-tech, non-dog alternatives.
Taxpayer, enough is enough.
MIDNIGHT DEADLINE: Will you please join me in rushing a tax-deductible donation right now to WCW’s new Red Tape Relief Fund?
Your donation will fund all of WCW’s campaigns and prevent the needless slaughter of 20,000 puppies in 2023!
If you remember, Taxpayer, I shared with you that the victims of my ethical failings were a Labrador and a Golden Retriever. That is unusual.
The canine of choice for the animal experimentation industry is usually the beagle.
Have you ever held a beagle puppy in your arms, Taxpayer? I have.
They are sweet, trusting, docile, and so eager to please.
They look at you with those big brown eyes, and all they want you to do is love them.
And that’s exactly why experimenters take advantage of beagles. These qualities make it quite easy for white coats to torture them.
It's a shameful betrayal of a 10,000-year-old bond built upon mutual love and loyalty!
DECEMBER 31 DEADLINE: If you agree, please join me by rushing an emergency donation to WCW’s FDA Red Tape Relief Fund before the budget deadline.
Matthew Scully, a former senior speechwriter for President George W. Bush, once wrote, “When you start with a necessary evil, and then over time the necessity passes away, what’s left?” The answer is: just evil.
I can never repay the karmic debt I incurred by needlessly killing those dogs, but I applaud the WCW team for selflessly working hard through the holidays to Cut FDA Red Tape and save lives.
It's past time we end flawed research that involves the betrayal of creatures hopelessly hard-wired to depend upon the kindness and mercy of human strangers.
That’s why I rushed a year-end gift to WCW’s FDA Red Tape Relief Fund… and I hope you do too.
20,000 puppies. 1 piece of red tape.
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Lawrence Hansen, M.D. White Coat Waste Project |
P.S. DECEMBER 31 DEADLINE: I love beagles and I loathe government waste. So I'm repenting past taxpayer-funded dog torture with a special donation to WCW’s Red Tape Relief Fund.
Taxpayer, will you join me? Thanks – Dr. Hansen
EMERGENCY UPDATE FOR Taxpayer: by now, you know that our campaign to save the CDC 134 lab kittens is under siege. Now we've uncovered unmistakable evidence that FDA is now FORCING other government agencies to gas, kill, and blind puppies. Without an overwhelming grassroots response, our campaign budget will break under the unsustainable weight of fighting a two-front war. Please take immediate action before midnight tomorrow!
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