John,

I wanted to take a moment today to wish each and every one of you a happy holiday season!

I also want to acknowledge that the holidays can be difficult for some. It can be a hard time for many of us who have lost loved ones. Since I lost my son Jordan to gun violence, the holidays have been a particularly tough time for me, because I lost the person I shared the most special Christmas memories and traditions with.

Jordan always loved Christmas as a child, even as he got older and aged out of Santa. Most years, it was just the two of us and our dog Freckles celebrating together. Even as a teenager, Jordan was so excited every year to go get a fresh tree so we could kick off Christmas at our house. 

Some years we went to a farm, other years Home Depot, but no matter what, Jordan would always try to pick out the biggest tree on the lot. I’d have to talk him down to about 6 feet – so we could handle getting it on top of the car and into the house by ourselves.

When he was little, Jordan would try to start putting ornaments on the tree before we even got it into the stand. Because it was often just the two of us, he’d have to hold the stand while I tried to wrestle the tree into place. And then, of course, Freckles the dog eventually would decorate the tree in his own special way… by peeing on it.

Freckles was usually a good dog...

After the tree was up and decorated, Jordan loved seeing his presents early. He always wanted them out under the tree (the ones that weren’t from Santa) so he could puzzle out if any were from his list. The only problem was that if we left the wrapped presents out, Freckles would “decorate” them too.

The Christmas tradition we settled on was putting out the wrapped presents on Christmas Eve, then covering them with a bunch of old towels. And every Christmas morning without fail, I’d come downstairs at 6 AM and there would be dog pee on the towels covering the presents under the tree. Merry Christmas to us! 

I know every family has their own cherished holiday traditions. Now every holiday season when I’m feeling down, I think about Jordan in his Christmas pajamas and Freckles in his reindeer antlers – and those memories always help to cheer me up. 

Friends, happy holidays to you and your family, however you’re celebrating – with whatever traditions you and your family have.

With love,

Lucy