- 23-year-old Andrew Hartzler dragging his aunt Rep. Vicky Rep. Hartzler (R-MO) for her hysterics on the House floor over the passage of the Respect for Marriage Act. Christmas in the Hartzler family is going to be interesting!

President Biden came to the White House facing so many large-scale problems in the U.S. that it left many of us wondering why anyone would want that job in the first place. Two years later…we’re asking the same question! 
 

• Wasn’t that a nice little intro? I think it was pretty professional. Now let’s rip into Kysten Sinema. This fucking lady. The Arizona senator announced today that she will change her party affiliation from Democrat to independent, just days after Sen. Raphael Warnock (D-GA) won his hard-fought re-election campaign and brought Dems to a 51-49 majority in the upper chamber. You just couldn’t let anyone else have 10 minutes of attention, could you, Kyrsten? Sinema has voted with President Biden’s agenda 90 percent of the time, but boy has she made a big fucking show out of the remaining 10 percent. 
   

• Statements from both Sinema’s office and Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer confirmed that she asked to keep her committee assignments and will continue caucusing with Democrats, leaving the 51-49 majority mercifully intact. For now. She will essentially join Sens. Angus King (I-ME) and Bernie Sanders (I-VT) as the third independent in the chamber, but how she will vote issue to issue is as uncertain as ever. Sinema was swept into the Senate in the 2018 midterm elections, when millions of people horrified by the Republican government worked tirelessly to impose a check on the Trump administration. What an unbelievable slap in the face this is to all of the organizers who worked themselves ragged to put someone they believed would be a champion of progressive values in office. 
   

• And the point seems to be to undercut them once again. Changing party ID means Democrats can’t primary her, and raises the possibility that if Democrats recruit a candidate of their own, she will remain on the ballot as an independent, splitting the ticket and paving the way for Sen. Kari Lake (R-Hell). . Sinema has broken with Dems on some pretty key issues like voting rights, increasing the minimum wage (is she fucking serious) and the filibuster, and was even censured by the Arizona Democratic Party for her vote to preserve the latter. Now she’s essentially threatening to throw the seat to the GOP if Dems don’t coronate her despite all the betrayals.  Go to K Street and get a consulting job, since that’s what you so clearly want! This now puts the White House and the Senate leadership in the truly humiliating position of trying not to say anything too abrasive about Sinema, in the hopes that she will still cooperate with them when they need her.

Okay, enough about the *kookiest* senator Big Pharma money can buy, because ultimately, Biden has bigger problems to deal with in his next two years. 
 

• Today, longtime Biden confidant and top State Department official Brian McKeon announced he will leave the administration due to family obligations, signaling what could be the first of several high-level departures across the government as Republicans take control of the House. Members of the rising House Republican majority have already promised spree investigations into everything from the military withdrawal from Afghanistan to immigration at the southern border to DOJ’s seizure of documents from Mar-a-Lago. Biden and McKeon have worked together for decades, and a larger problem of lack of institutional knowledge at the State Department already exists following decades of firings and funding cuts. 
   

• Speaking of House investigations: the House January 6 Committee reportedly wants to refer at least four individuals to the Justice Department for criminal investigation, in addition to disgraced former president Donald Trump. The committee has not formally decided whom to refer, and for what crimes, but the four in question were all central to the coup-ing. There’s Trump’s former chief of staff Mark Meadows, his legal attack dog John Eastman, his one-time personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani, and Trump-era DOJ official Jeffrey Clark. All four of these jabronis had a direct hand in Trump’s effort to overturn the results of the 2020 election and the perpetuation of voter fraud conspiracies. Although criminal referrals to DOJ would be largely symbolic, given how much evidence of criminal conduct is already public, they would nevertheless represent a powerful, bipartisan statement for the historical record. 

With slings and arrows coming from all directions, congressional Democrats need to hold the line and act with the certainty of the mandate they intend to hold the line against the fascism mounting in the GOP. The future of American democracy depends on it, but no pressure!

Stop what you’re doing. Unless you’re driving, then just make a mental note or send a voice note to your friend, or whatever. 

Crooked Coffee is having a FLASH SALE happening this weekend only! Get 25% OFF our Holiday Gift Box collection and get your gift shopping started and finished in one sitting. Use code SAVE25 at checkout to get 25% OFF our three exclusive Holiday Boxes. Each box includes 2 bags of coffee plus a fun activity, whether it’s baking, crochet-ing, or crafting up something witty with a custom magnetic poetry set. These are perfect for your roommate, your dad, or that dreaded round of “White Elephant” with co-workers.  
 

Again, that’s code SAVE25 for 25% OFF our holiday box collection at Crooked Coffee, happening right now through Sunday night.

Order by tomorrow night to get it by the 24th, so just in time for Christmas or just in time for one of the last gifts of Hanukkah.  
Head to crooked.com/coffee to cross everyone off your shopping list (yourself included).

A Washington Post investigation has uncovered a startling pattern in which FEMA’s maps keep Americans in the dark about flood risk. As climate change intensifies, it’s also generating more kinds of flooding that the agency’s maps are not designed to track. The resulting chaos leaves homeowners, prospective buyers, renters, and municipalities in the dark about major potential dangers facing their communities, what kind of insurance they should buy, or which types of developments should be restricted in accordance with those dangers. FEMA officials testified before Congress that over 40 percent of National Flood Insurance Program claims made between 2017 and 2019 were for properties outside of official flood hazard zones. In many of the highest-risk areas outside of the official hazard zones, less than one percent of single-family homes hold flood insurance. But FEMA argues that this may just be another unfortunate side effect of global warming, rather than an inherent problem at the agency. President Obama’s FEMA administrator W. Craig Fugate said, “maps aren’t going to keep up for some time. They are not designed for extreme rainfall events.”

Ukrainian officials said that Russian forces shelled the entire front line of the Donetsk region today, escalating violence there that ramped up yesterday. 

Mexico is building a $15 billion train line through the heart of ancient Maya civilization, leaving archeologists scrambling to recover antiquities before the structures are torn down.  

Penguin Random House CEO Markus Dohle is resigning after a federal judge blocked a planned merger between the company and its largest rival Simon & Schuster. Sorry your attempt to create a monopoly didn’t work out, pal!

Speaking of men of ill repute with too much money, Twitter CEO Elon Musk is still trying to make fetch happen with the “TWITTER FILES” except this time he appears to be putting everyone’s data privacy at serious risk.

Developing countries are lobbying for a voice to be heard as part of World Health Organization talks in the coming year in an effort to not be overlooked and under-supplied during the next global health crises. 

Former Minnesota police officer J. Alexander Kueng was sentenced today to three and a half years in prison for his involvement in the 2020 murder of George Floyd after pleading guilty to one count of aiding and abetting manslaughter in October. 

Truck drivers in South Korea voted to end their three-week strike today and the government remains obstinate over minimum-wage protections unions demanded. 

The U.S. imposed sanctions today targeting state officials and businesses in Russia, Iran, and China.

ZBiotics Pre-Alcohol Probiotic is the world’s first genetically engineered probiotic. It was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after drinking. When you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct called acetaldehyde in the gut. It’s acetaldehyde, not dehydration, that’s to blame for your rough next day. ZBiotics produces an enzyme to break acetaldehyde down. It’s designed to work like your liver, but in your gut, where you need it most.
 

Just remember to drink ZBiotics before drinking alcohol, drink responsibly, and get a good night’s sleep to feel your best tomorrow. Give ZBiotics a try for yourself.
 

Go to zbiotics.com/CROOKED to get 15% off your first order when you use CROOKED at checkout.

ZBiotics is backed with a 100% money back guarantee so if you’re unsatisfied for any reason, they’ll refund your money, no questions asked. The holidays are upon us and ZBiotics makes a great gift. It’s unique, thoughtful, and under $40. We’ll all be having more drinks this holiday season so order today to get ZBiotics in time!

According to federal data, an oil pipeline that ruptured this week is the largest onshore crude pipeline spill in nine years, releasing a greater volume of oil than all the previous spills in the same system combined. The Keystone pipeline rupture flooded a Washington County, KS, creek with enough oil to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool. The pipeline operator, Canada’s TC Energy, said the structure which runs from Canada to Oklahoma leaked some 14,000 barrels, or 588,000 gallons of crude oil. The spill has raised questions about whether TC Energy should be allowed to keep its federal permit for pressure inside the Keystone pipeline to exceed typical maximum levels. Seems like a pretty clear “No,” to me. A federal accountability office reported last year that there had been 22 previous spills along the Keystone system since it began operating in 2010. Is any other industry allowed to proliferate with this many major disasters without being shut down?

Today's newsletter is brought to you by CARIUMA - The sustainable sneaker worn by skaters and surfers.

Winter is coming, and time to get real about layers, lining—everything that’s going to keep you warm and comfortable when you head out the door.
 

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Brittney Griner is home. 

Next week President Biden will formally announce his support of the African Union to become a permanent member of the G-20. 

Workers at a General Motors-LG Energy plant in northeast Ohio overwhelmingly voted to join the United Auto Workers union, a huge win for workers in the nascent electric vehicles supply chain sector.