This month has been very, very hard for me, John.

A few weeks ago marked seven years since my beautiful butterfly Dylan was murdered. There are simply no words to express how much I miss him.

I rarely burst into tears, but I often find tears falling without realizing I've started to cry. There's a feeling of incredible sadness for me – even as we avert more school shooting threats – because no matter what I do or how many lives are saved in Dylan's name, I will never get him back. Part of me – my soul – has been slashed from existence.

And every time I hear of another tragedy, I lose control completely – reliving the day I got the news Dylan was murdered. It's my responsibility now to make sure no other parent has to live with this unbearable pain – with a heart that never stops bleeding.

That's why I need your help. We only have until midnight tomorrow to secure every dollar of our year-end match, and right now, we're still very short. Please, can I count on you to help me honor Dylan by donating now to have your gift doubled to protect more children from gun violence next year?

Please, before the year is over and this match expires, donate $10, or as much as you can, to Sandy Hook Promise. Your tax-deductible gift will go twice as far toward protecting children from gun violence in 2020.

I often think of the different choices I could have made that would have saved my baby boy. I can't go back and choose differently, but you can make a choice now that prevents gun violence from tearing other families apart.

I'm asking for your help reaching this goal so that, come January when children head back to school, moms can hug their children goodbye in the morning and trust that they'll greet them with a hug when they return in the evening. Thank you for helping make that possible.

With love,

Nicole Hockley (Dylan's mom)