| A Pair of Family Rules To Consider Implementing | | | | | | Use Fewer Words | | This isn’t for the kids. You want them to talk. This is for you. Because, per Dr. Dr. Laura Kastner, a family and child psychologist and author of Getting to Calm, The Early Years, adults talk way too much — like 80 percent too much. What happens is that they end up babbling and a 5-year-old says something like, “I hate you,” sidetracking the conversation and getting out of any responsibility. Using fewer words helps that. This also applies to praise. “Good job” means nothing said once. Said constantly, it means even less. The best practice is to save compliments for stuff kids have been struggling with. Has your child gotten better at buckling in? Say: “You really figured out the seat belt. I’m impressed!” This is concrete and specific. It shows your kid that you’ve been noticing their effort. |
|
|---|
| |
| | | | Ask for Solutions When Problems Occur | Accidents happen. Rather than asking “Why do you keep doing this?” the better response is: “Wow, look at what you did. What do we do next?” That keeps parents from being constantly reactive and, as a result, stressing kids out. “They’re always waiting for you to blow up,” says Brian R. King, a social worker, and parenting coach. According to this rule, you’re also not swooping in to fix the problem. Your child is asked to be resourceful and imaginative, which isn’t an issue. If this approach concerns you, just consider how a kid builds anything. They aren’t encumbered by what doesn’t work. Their fix might not be the one, but they’re collaborating and problem-solving, two skills with long-term benefits.
Here are some more family rules to consider. |
|
|---|
| |
|
| | |
|
|
