Network television is in trouble. Relatively few under the age of 80 are watching. NBC may actually give up the entire 10 to 11 PM hour on its primetime schedule. Why? Because much of its audience is already in the land of nod at that time.

But I could save network TV with a first-rate idea: bring back successful shows of the past with modern narratives. Let's take a look.

Leave It To Beaver.  The Beav is transitioning, and his parents, Ward and June, want him to "find his truth." His brother Wally concurs as long as Beaver does not leave his room. However, friends Eddie Haskell and Lumpy Rutherford have some problems with this. Ward has to get stern with them.

Sanford and Son.  Lamont wants to put a "Black Lives Matter" sign in the junkyard. But Fred objects, referencing the millions of dollars in real estate BLM executives have purchased with donations. A compromise is reached, and the new sign says: "Black Real Estate Matters."

Father Knows Best.  Too hot. Will have to be retitled "Father Is A Member of the White Patriarchy." Bud, Princess, and Kitten inform dad that, should he continue wearing sports jackets with patches on the elbows, they will all get visible tattoos of Satan on their necks.

The Streets of San Francisco.  Michael Douglas and Karl Malden try to engage the homeless in North Beach and have their car stolen.

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