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Hiiiiiiiiii, it’s Sammie and Dexter here, the office dogs of Team Kermit. 🐶
We hang out at HQ every day, so we know everything about everyone. Like which volunteer will sneak us some goldfish, and how excited folks are to “flip this seat blue” (we’re unsure what that means, but we know it’s causing a stir).
We’re reaching out because our owners are having a ruff week. Sammie’s dad keeps staring at his spreadsheets, and Dexter’s mom keeps asking about the spreadsheets. They keep going on and on about an ulti-mutt “End-of-Quarter deadline” on September 30.
I hope we aren’t barking up the wrong tree by asking if you can help us out. Our parents always say “no begging” but if you can keep a secret, then so can we (we’re looking at you, volunteer with the goldfish).
Human, can you pleaseeeeeee pitch in a few dollars before September 30 to help Dr. Kermit flip this seat blue?
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Blue chairs are apparently very expensive and important, so any amount you can give is pup-preciated!
We’ll stop hounding you now,
🐾 Sammie & Dexter
Rocklin Office Branch Managers
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Paid for by Kermit Jones for Congress
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Kermit Jones for Congress
PO Box 713
Roseville, CA 95661
United States
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Kermit Jones is a former member of the U.S. Navy. Use of his military rank, job titles, and photographs in uniform does not imply endorsement from the Department of Defense or the Department of the Navy.
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