Sep 19, 2022

Sometimes, it feels like the world is just taunting you. There’s that jerk who took your parking spot and avoided eye contact. The coworker who constantly antagonizes you. The parent at the park who made the passive aggressive comment about your kid. How could your anger not get the better of you? The answer to that is, with practice. With discipline. And with a coping mechanism or four. Anger is a natural emotion that everyone experiences. What you do with it is up to you.

SELF

How to Tell If Your Anger Is An Issue

Are you a dad who gets angry sometimes or an angry dad? Understanding the difference is crucial.

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How To Work On Your Anger Issues In The Moment

Identify the feeling.

You can’t change what you’re not in tune with. If it’s just saying, “I’m angry right now,” that’s progress.

Step away.

Understand that you’re angry and excuse yourself for a moment. Say, “I need five minutes to gather my thoughts” or something similar.

Clarify your own perspective and that of the other party.

This is what the timeout allows you to think about. You’re not the only person involved, so you can’t focus only on your needs.

Think about how to solve the problem.

You can still be angry. But it’s important figure out what you want as well as a route to get to, “You did X and that pissed me off but what can we do now and for the next time?” This turns antagonism into a kind of collaboration.

Controlling your anger isn’t easy. You can read more advice like this, which was provided by Michelle Shiota, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at Arizona State University,here.

FURTHER READING

The Anger Management Tactic That Can Save Your Marriage (And Many Hours of Fighting)
The One Thing All Angry Men Have In Common
6 Ways To Deal With Anger, Without Letting It Out

SELF

6 Big Signs You’re Too Antagonistic For Your Own Good

Antagonism serves a purpose. But too much of it can turn people away .Here's how to know if you're going too far, too often.

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PARENTING

6 Myths About What Happens When Dad Yells

Yelling is, strangely enough, a totally natural reaction to social threats from a 4-year-old.

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COMMUNICATIONS

What to Say When You’re Too Angry to Talk

Even if you have no words, you still must choose them wisely.

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RELATIONSHIPS

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Unless you want to make matters worse, steer clear of these phrases.

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PARENTING

What Am I Doing To My Kid When I Yell?

Short answer: You're setting yourself up for a lifetime of shouting matches.

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