Imagine you’re sailing on the open sea. You’re out on the deck soaking up the sun, listening to the waves, and enjoying the ocean breeze. Everything around you is peaceful and wonderfully tranquil.

Suddenly, without warning, your peace is shattered by chaos. Your ship comes under attack by pirates.

Moms often feel like a similar scenario happens to them every day. They begin each morning with an expectation for how to make their day go peacefully. But somewhere along the way, unexpected circumstances hijack their plans and throw everything into chaos.

We’re talking with author Ashley Willis on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Rediscovering Your Joy in Motherhood” about how moms can do more than begrudgingly survive motherhood. They can thrive through it and enjoy their kids’ childhood.

Ashely describes four “peace pirates” that will steal the joy of motherhood:

1. Mommy martyrdom. Making your children an idol and neglect yourself to the point that you feel like a martyr.
2. Clenching control. We need to have expectations for our children, but discipline can cross over into unhealthy control.
3. Excessive expectations. We have to assess what kind of expectations we place on our children as well as the expectations we place on ourselves as parents.
4. Comparison. Whether it’s comparing ourselves to people on social media or comparing ourselves to our friends and family.