At what age would you say that children become adults? Sixteen? Eighteen? Twenty-one?
Answers among parents likely vary widely. Psychologist, author, and expert in adolescent and family relationships, Dr. Ken Wilgus, encourages parents to think of their teenagers as adults in training. Teens, he says, are not big children; they are young adults. Treating them as such is a process Dr. Wilgus calls “Progressive Emancipation.”
Around age 13, childhood comes to its natural end. That doesn’t mean your job as a parent is over, but your job changes. As they emerge into adulthood through their teens and into their twenties, your job will shift from teaching to training.
Dr. Wilgus describes progressive emancipation as you “marshaling an orderly retreat out of your teenagers’ lives.” That means deliberately work your way out of your responsibilities as a parent by the time your child is 18 and leaves home.
The world can be a harsh place to live. We cannot afford to produce weak-willed adults who don’t know what they think and have never practiced thinking it. They need to be ready, and we need to prepare them.
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