Wednesday, August 17, 2022
BY JULIA CLAIRE & CROOKED MEDIA
- Canada's Ontario Premier Doug Ford having some trouble during today's outdoor press conference.​​

It’s becoming frighteningly apparent that the anti-choice war on abortion has gone digital.
 

Of course, there are analog developments to abortion access unfolding every day, too. 
 

It can be tiresome for voters to hear the endless drumbeat of “You have to vote! You have to organize! There’s too much at stake!” but now that we’re exposed to the endless well of cruelty Republicans are willing to impose, we have to use every tool in our arsenal.

Holy sh*t, we have a baby! Crooked’s new podcast Dare We Say is officially here, and hosts as well as best friends Josie Totah, Alycia Pascual Peña, and Yasmine Hamady, are giving you all the tea on the proper way to birth a brand new baby podcast. In its first episode, out now, the girls give you 10 hilarious tips on how to celebrate your birthday, survival tips for getting through the birthday scaries and they talk you through all the anxieties that come with getting older. You don't want to miss it!

 

New episodes of Dare We Say drop every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.

As expected, the CFO of the Trump Organization Allen Weisselberg pled guilty to a total of 15 charges including tax evasion today in a deal that could potentially make him a star witness against the corporation this fall—exciting!! He admitted to taking over $1.7 million worth of untaxed perks (including free rent for a Manhattan apartment and lease payments for a luxury car) and explicitly keeping some income off the books. The judge agreed to sentence Weisselberg to five months in Rikers, although he will be eligible for release much earlier pending good behavior. He will also pay a fine of $2 million and complete five years probation. Although disgraced former president Donald Trump is not charged in the case, he is inextricably linked to his namesake company, and according to Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg, Weisselberg’s plea “directly implicates the Trump Organization in a wide range of criminal activity.”

Terrible Gov. Brian Kemp (R-GA) is seeking to dismiss a subpoena he received related to Donald Trump’s likely election interference in the state, brought by the Fulton County District Attorney’s office. DA Fanni Willis isn’t having it

 

Airbnb announced yesterday that it will use “new technology” to deter customers in the U.S. and Canada from using the rental service to throw parties. Fucking yikes. 

 

New research shows that glaciers in Europe are experiencing “off the charts” melting, the most severe on record. Double yikes.

 

The United States and Taiwan are set to begin formal trade negotiations following House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s (D-CA) visit which really pissed off China. 

 

Under a new settlement reached between the NFL and its Players Association, Cleveland Browns quarterback Deshaun Watson has been suspended for 11 games and fined $5 million as well as mandatory treatment for Watson, after settling multiple sexual assault lawsuits from female massage therapists who work in NFL locker rooms. 

 

An Arizona judge overseeing the high-profile case against the the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for conspiring to cover-up child sexual abuse has ruled that the church may not refuse to answer questions or turn over documents under “clergy-penitent privilege.”

 

Three men have been indicted in connection with the 2018 prison killing of notorious Boston gangster James “Whitey” Bulger, and if this couldn’t get any more The Departed, the names of the inmates who killed Bulger are, I kid you not: Freddy, Pauly, and Sean. 

 

The only producer of an FDA-approved monkeypox vaccine said it’s struggling to meet demand for shots amid the rise in cases. 

 

Related: The U.S. is setting aside an extra 50,000 doses of monkeypox vaccine for areas with upcoming gay pride events

Two things can be true: the Inflation Reduction Act is the most significant piece of climate legislation passed in U.S. history, and it also features some provisions which directly work against its expressed goals. Back in January, a judge struck down a $192 million oil and gas lease in the Gulf of Mexico over future global-warming emissions because the Biden administration had curtailed opportunities for new offshore drilling. But the Inflation Reduction Act bypasses those standards and guarantees new drilling opportunities in the Gulf of Mexico and Alaska. That was a concession designed to secure support from the object of all of our disdain, Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV), who receives more financial contributions from oil and gas companies than almost anyone in Congress. The IRA will likely drastically reduce overall U.S. emissions, but it also gives a handout to oil and gas by mandating leasing of vast areas off the American coasts and public lands. If the Biden admin wants solar and wind on public lands, it has to offer new oil and gas leases first. The result could be up to 100 million tons of planet-warming carbon dioxide released into the atmosphere annually from oil and gas alone. But other analysts say that the negatives will be offset by the dozens of climate-centered provisions in the law. Time will tell, and until then we can keep fighting for more and better legislation in the future.

Did you know poor sleep can cause weight gain, mood issues, lowered productivity, and a reduced immune system, and an overall decreased sense of wellbeing? Having a solid night-time routine is crucial, because a better tomorrow always starts tonight.
 

Introducing Beam: for a limited time, get up to 35% off Beam's best-selling Dream Powder, containing 5 natural sleep-promoting ingredients for your best sleep ever.
 

Best of all, it's trusted by top athletes and professionals. The proof is in the powder. 98% of people surveyed fall asleep faster when taking Beam Dream, and 99% of people experience better sleep quality.
 

And Beam has just launched a brand new delicious new summer flavor of Dream Powder– Sea Salt Caramel. Sea Salt Caramel Dream Powder tastes just like the caramel drizzle on your summer ice cream cone—but with only 15 calories! Better sleep has NEVER tasted better. If you want to try Beam’s new Sea Salt Caramel Dream Powder, it’s only available for a limited time, so be sure to grab some before it runs out at the end of the summer!
 

For a limited time, get up to 35% off when you go to beamorganics.com/crooked and use code CROOKED at checkout.

For the first time in 75 years, Kemp’s ridley sea turtle hatchlings (the world’s smallest and most endangered sea turtle) were found on the Chandeleur Islands off the coast of Louisiana. The adorable, good news we needed!!!

 

A federal judge in West Palm Beach, FL, said today that he is “inclined” to unseal some of the affidavit central to the FBI search of Mar-a-Lago on August 8, if DOJ first redacts the document so as not to undermine its own investigation. 

 

A federal judge has partially suspended enforcement of Florida’s embarrassingly-named “Stop WOKE Act,” a law proposed and signed by Gov.-from-hell Ron DeSantis (R-FL) which restricts how companies and schools can discuss race. 


Gov. Steve Sisolak (D-NV) said yesterday that if he wins re-election he would seek to codify into law an executive order he signed protecting in-state abortion providers and out-of-state patients.

. . . . . .


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