John – this Father's Day, I'm remembering my dear first husband, John, who my children and I lost to cancer 20 years ago, and my own dad, Gussie.

It's hard to put into words who John and my dad were – and how much they meant to my children and me. They were passionate, kind, full of life, and so dedicated to helping those around them. I loved their commitment to service and how much they gave back to our community – but before all of that, they were simply dads to the kids who adored them.

My darling John loved being a father – he was 100% devoted to our six beautiful children. I have so many blessed memories of raising our kids together and spending time on our family farm, Heart Six Ranch. 

I wrote John a letter the night he passed. In it, I thanked him for all that he gave us: His energy, his brilliance, his curiosity, his enthralling stories, and so much love. He lived his life completely and totally with the highest moral and values – and he wanted our children to live with these same virtues. In my letter I assured him that they will, because they had the greatest teacher and example in him.

For our kids, losing their dad when they were so young was nearly unbearable. Nobody loved them more than their father and I, and no one will ever replace the wisdom John was able to offer, the warmth he showed us, or the effort he put into to making us all feel cared for.

Then there's Dad. The world remembers my father, Gussie, as the man who with his team of workers, made the biggest brewery in the world, creating the icon that is Budweiser and as the man who kept the Cardinals in St. Louis, but to me, he was a dad first. He led by example and showed my siblings and me how to treat others with respect. He taught me how to stand up for what is right and make the world a more equal and fair place; he even discovered Black and white players could not share a hotel for spring training and changed the rule. More than anything, he raised me to work hard, to love big, and when you’re holding the reins of a coach with four horses you need steady and soft hands and a focused calm mind to keep your horses working together and moving forward. 

I feel fortunate that I can find some peace today, remembering and honoring John and my dad, but I know that Father's Day is a hard, complicated day for many of us. This day is bittersweet even for me. As I spend today cherishing the memories I have of John and my dad, I am continuing to make new ones with my second husband, our combined families, and our 8 precious grandchildren.

So, whether you are close to or distant from your father or beloved father figure – and whether this holiday is sweet, somber, or something in between – I hope that you spend today with your loved ones. At the end of the day, that's what really matters most.

With warm wishes,

Trudy Busch Valentine