[ Grief, anxiety of more to come, infiltrates an ordinary family
in Rachel Mallalieu’s poem. ]
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PORTSIDE CULTURE

I TELL MY SON TO COVER HIMSELF IN SOMEONE ELSE’S BLOOD  
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Rachel Mallalieu
May 29, 2022
Rattle
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_ Grief, anxiety of more to come, infiltrates an ordinary family in
Rachel Mallalieu’s poem. _

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I Tell My Son to Cover Himself in Someone Else’s Blood

By Rachel Mallalieu

Last night, I told my son

that if he sees a shooter coming, he needs to

hide in a file cabinet or underneath

a covered table.

If he’s in the bathroom, he should

stand on the toilet and lock the stall door.

If there’s nowhere to go,

I asked him to paint

himself with someone else’s

blood and play

dead.

_Give him a break _my husband murmured.

_Let him relax a bit._

Simon needed extra prayers

at bedtime.

_Say my name out loud._

_Tell God to keep me safe, or at least_

_don’t let him come while I’m in art_

_class. During shooter drills, _

_my teacher forgot to lock_

_the door and the window is too big_

_to cover with paper._

I smoothed the circles under

his eyes while I begged God

to keep him here, with me.

Today, the forest is a cathedral

and cedar trees waft incense.

The blossoms are a riotous crowd

—tulip poplars, mountain laurel,

dogwoods and wisteria.

The “About Me” poster outside

Simon’s fourth grade

classroom says he loves our dog

Theo and tacos.

His favorite color is green.

He wants to be a doctor.

The trees hush the sirens

and only the flowers hear the

whispered coda to my prayer.

_If he comes, God, and Simon_

c_an’t hide, please_

_please God,_

    

     _let me be there too_.

The blooms, mute gods, bend

their faces toward my cries

and promise

nothing.

Rachel Mallalieu is an emergency physician and mother of five. She
writes poetry in her spare time. Rachel is the author of _A History
of Resurrection_ (Alien Buddha Press 2022). Some of her recent work
is featured or forthcoming in Nelle, Tribes, Dialogist, Rattle and
elsewhere. More of her poetry can be found at rachel-mallalieu.com
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