How Much Compromise Is Too Much in a Relationship?
Fatherly
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WHAT’S THE ONE SKILL THAT WILL BENEFIT COUPLES THE MOST RIGHT NOW? THAT IS,
WHAT’S MOST IMPORTANT TO HELPING YOU AND YOUR PARTNER FEEL HAPPIER, MORE
RESILIENT, LESS RESENTFUL, AND BETTER ABLE TO ENDURE THE MANY STRESSES OF
MARRIAGE AND RAISING KIDS? THE ANSWER, ACCORDING TO DR. JOHN GOTTMAN, IS SIMPLE:
LISTENING. THAT IS, YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER WITH EMPATHY,
INTEREST, AND, IMPORTANTLY, WITHOUT OFFERING SOLUTIONS. WHETHER YOUR
RELATIONSHIP IS STRONG OR STRUGGLING, HE SAYS MASTERING THIS COMMUNICATION SKILL
IS CRITICAL TO SUCCESS. TIME TO BRUSH UP.
MARRIAGE
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THE MOST IMPORTANT SKILL MODERN COUPLES NEED TO MASTER, ACCORDING TO DR. JOHN
GOTTMAN
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THE LEGENDARY MARRIAGE THERAPIST ON HOW TO BUILD A MARRIAGE THAT LASTS.
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READ THE STORY
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TIPS AND TRICKS
TWO BAD HABITS THAT BREED RESENTMENT IN MARRIAGE
1. HOLDING BACK AFFECTION
IT’S EASY TO LET INTIMACY SLIDE IN A MARRIAGE. BOTH OF YOU ARE OFTEN BOGGED DOWN
IN THE DAY-TO-DAY RESPONSIBILITIES OF WORK AND FAMILY. BUT HOLDING BACK PHYSICAL
CONTACT, EVEN SMALL GESTURES LIKE HAND-HOLDING OR LIGHT TOUCHES CAN START TO SOW
SEEDS OF DOUBT. IN THE ABSENCE OF PHYSICAL CONNECTION, A SPOUSE MAY QUESTION
WHETHER OR NOT THEIR PARTNER IS STILL ATTRACTED TO THEM OR INTERESTED IN THEM AT
ALL. “ALTHOUGH A LACK OF SEXUAL INTIMACY CAN BE A RED FLAG,” SAYS DENNA BABUL ,
A RELATIONSHIP EXPERT AND THE AUTHOR OF LOVE STRONG , “INTIMACY CAN BE FELT IN
OTHER WAYS LIKE A GOODNIGHT KISS OR A WINK FROM ACROSS THE ROOM TO LET THE OTHER
PERSON KNOW THEY ARE STILL SEEN AND DESIRED.” PAYING ATTENTION TO SUCH SMALL
GESTURES IS CRUCIAL.
2. NOT HAVING YOUR SPOUSE’S BACK
IF YOU OFTEN TAKE A FAMILY MEMBER’S OR FRIEND’S SIDE IN AN ARGUMENT OVER YOUR
PARTNER’S, LOOK OUT. YOUR SPOUSE WILL EVENTUALLY FEEL LIKE YOU DON’T VALUE THEIR
OPINIONS OR THAT YOU DON’T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT THEM TO SUPPORT THEM IN PUBLIC.
THIS SENDS A CLEAR MESSAGE. IT’S IMPORTANT TO KEEP IN MIND THAT YOU’RE A TEAM
AND YOU NEED TO PRESENT YOURSELVES THAT WAY. “TAKE THE DIFFERING OPINIONS BEHIND
CLOSED DOORS,” BABUL SAYS, “SETTLE THE SCORE, AND COME BACK UNITED AS A TEAM TO
ENSURE A WEDGE OF RESENTMENT DOES NOT START TO FORM.”
READ MORE
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FURTHER READING
* HOW TO BE THE BEST DAMN LISTENER YOU CAN BE
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* HATE CONFLICT? HERE’S HOW TO HANDLE ARGUMENTS MORE PRODUCTIVELY
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* HOW TO LET GO OF RESENTMENT
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SELF
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HOW MUCH COMPROMISE IS TOO MUCH IN A RELATIONSHIP?
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IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS CONCEDING, THEN IT MAY BE TIME TO DO SOME
RECALIBRATION. BUT THIS MUST BE DONE VERY, VERY CAREFULLY.
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READ THE STORY
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FITNESS
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THE BEST BODYWEIGHT WORKOUT FOR MUSCLE GAIN
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YOU DON’T NEED WEIGHTS TO BUILD MUSCLE — YOU JUST NEED TO KNOW THE RIGHT MOVES.
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READ THE STORY
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FURTHER READING
* YOU PROBABLY CAN’T PASS THIS “OLD MAN TEST” THAT’S VIRAL ON TIKTOK
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* SUPERSET WORKOUTS ARE YOUR SECRET WEAPON TO MORE GAINS IN LESS TIME
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* 5 RIDICULOUSLY TOUGH WORKOUTS YOU CAN DO AT HOME
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BOOKS
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THE BEST HARRY POTTER ALTERNATIVES FOR KIDS WHO LOVE FANTASY
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GO BEYOND HOGWARTS
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READ THE STORY
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