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My observation is that if there is a tight relationship and one party is betrayed by the other (falling in love with another person), it's almost always irreconcilable.
I've helped people try and struggle through that on both sides of the issue. (the person who was betrayed and the person who did the betrayal).
I have seen people grow up and not do it again. And this was in situations where their partner didn't know. In a couple of those situations, it seemed that it might even be described as a necessary experience for the person who did it. It helped them develop.
I am NOT justifying that behaviour, but life is complicated.
However, I think society works better, all things considered, when you make a promise. And you stick to it.
One of the things I learned from reading Jung was that there are things in a marriage that you can't have unless you're all in. I believe that.
If there's a back door open, to begin with, or a back door opens, then I think there's something about the relationship that's lacking, at least, and I think you pay a huge price for that.
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