Here’s a common scenario between parents that couple’s therapists frequently see: One partner, often the woman, is frustrated, overwhelmed, and resentful because they feel that they’re tasked with a greater share of the mental load in the relationship. That is, they take on most of the appointment-making, the party-planning, the meal-prepping, and other such work it takes to run a household. When they express their frustration, their partners become defensive and respond with “well, why didn’t you just ask?” Contempt and resentment bubble, arguments ensue, and the cycle repeats. Only when both partners come to terms with — and devise a system for — the amount of invisible work it requires to keep a household humming along, can the cycle be broken. |
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