The American Immigration Council has a Thanksgiving tradition of posting a “Talking Turkey” blog on Immigration Impact, offering tips on how to talk about immigration at the dinner table without inflaming your family and friends. Over the years, we have provided different suggestions, from talking points and easy-to-access facts, to reminders about our country’s immigration tradition. In recent years, we have suggested more listening and less talking.
As immigration and other challenging issues have become so polarizing, many of us simply want to stay away from such pressing issues entirely. But it doesn’t have to be that way. In this year’s blog, we offer some basic tips on how to approach tough but important conversations:
• Start the dinner discussing things you have agreement on—sports, kids, how much you love turkey or Dolly Parton—whatever brings you together in agreement. You want people to feel like they have some values and interests in common first.

• Make a commitment to listen and understand and ask for the same in return. Focus on what the other person is saying and try to understand the history and experiences behind their views and positions.

• Use the “5 whys” to dig deeper. Ask 5 why/how questions in order to get beneath the surface of what the other person is saying. This will help you deepen your understanding of their point of view and allow you to find nuance and new ways to talk about the trickier issues.

• Bring stories, information, and new ideas into the conversation that the other person may not have been exposed to and be open to hearing new information from them. It’s easiest to receive information that is new or that may conflict with our existing views if we trust and feel validated by the person sharing it.

Mutual agreement is not the final destination, justice is—and sometimes, it’s a long road to justice. But at the Council, we are committed to getting there, and we believe that building trust and understanding are good first steps toward a more just and fair society.
We hope you will support our work by giving a year-end donation to help us continue to promote justice in the year ahead.

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