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By Jonathan Pollard
(MAY 5, 2022 / ARUTZ SHEVA) After all the years I spent [in prison], the natural inclination is to try to focus on rebuilding my life. That is what my beloved wife Esther and I tried to do during that one year of grace we were given together here, and that is what I am trying to do now after I lost her.
But the clear knowledge of the disaster that we are leading ourselves to, with the images of the past few months, and in particular the gut-wrenching massacre in Elad, leave me no peace.
I simply cannot remain silent any longer.
For decades, Esther went in my stead to be with the families of fallen IDF soldiers and terror victims during their most difficult moments. I don't understand how she was able to stand it. Ever since her passing, I have been trying to follow in her footsteps, but I am haunted by the faces of relatives who have lost everything, and I tremble with a handshake; a hug at a funeral leaves my body and soul trembling, especially since, like them and like everyone else, I cannot flee the knowledge this loss could have been prevented.
During the 30 years I was in prison, I lived with incredible fear and concern for my life. I had to have eyes in the back of my head. I couldn’t sleep at night, concerned that someone would enter my room and stab either me or my roommate to death. I had to always carry a knife and be prepared to use it without hesitation. I constantly had to witness the horrible deaths of other people - especially my friends, that occurred suddenly and without warning. In prison, the most frustrating thing of all had to do with the fact that the officials in charge of protecting us, were basically scared of the violent prisoners and accommodated them as much as possible.
Put plainly, our administrators wanted peace at any cost, even if it meant that innocent people were murdered without serious consequences to those who attacked them.
We couldn’t even rely upon the guards to protect us because they didn’t want an inmate injured by them taking them to court. I quickly learned that we didn’t have a right to self-defense under any circumstances. People can’t believe me when I tell them that we were always wrong if we tried to defend ourselves. And those who did were always punished excessively in order to make the point that they were no better than their assailants. It was total insanity.
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