Mentors are among the most important people in our lives. How many of us can look back on a sage piece of advice given to us many years ago that we still remember? Advice that we internalized, acted upon and as a result, changed our life in some profound way. The interesting thing is that it happens all day, every day shaping lives of people all throughout the world. Mentors imparting advice, sharing insights from their rich reservoir of experience.
Throughout our lives, it’s been estimated that each of us will directly interact with over 50,000 people. Most of those interactions will be simple intersections where we meet once and never cross paths with that person again. Yet there are some of those interactions that develop into meaningful relationships, relationships that have the possibility of changing the course of our lives or the lives of others. As a young man growing up in Newport playing football or when I first started my career in Boston, there were individuals I had the good fortune of meeting who served as incredible mentors in my life. Individuals whose guidance, insight, and even a little tough love at times inspired me, directed me, and eventually allowed the transition from childhood to adolescence, and eventually adulthood. It’s fair to say that without my mentors, I likely would not have been afforded many of the opportunities I’ve been fortunate enough to enjoy.
Unfortunately, there’s also research that suggests a majority of young people may never have a mentor, even though it’s been empirically demonstrated just how essential mentoring is to our communities and our young people. For both mentor and mentee, it can improve mental health, reinforce our resiliency, and instill the values of honesty, integrity, and a strong work ethic. Not only that, it has the ability to overwhelmingly influence the choices we make in a positive way, particularly amongst the most vulnerable. I’m reminded of a quote from Oprah Winfrey, a woman herself who credits a variety of mentors who helped her get on her feet following a difficult childhood, “a mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself”.
Yet what makes for a good mentor? It’s fair to say that sometimes we may look up to someone, but their influence can fail to help, if not fully understood and properly applied. Generally, I find it starts by looking at someone's aspirations in all areas of their lives. From their personal relationships, to school, or work, a good mentor understands where their mentee is versus where they want to go and holds them accountable, while also giving praise when they’ve surpassed a benchmark or achieved a desired goal.
And, the truth is that it works both ways. The person being advised receives the benefit of sage guidance, while the mentor enjoys a reward potentially of even greater value – knowing that he or she has helped shape a positive future for the next generation and beyond!
