TIPS AND TRICKS

Want to Keep Friends After the Baby Arrives? Don’t Be So Damn Stubborn 

From a young age, men are encouraged to figure stuff out and not ask for help. That leads to staying isolated when you keep new baby hours. “Fathers tend to father in isolation,” says John C. Carr, a Boston psychotherapist and author of Becoming a Dad. Push back against this instinct. When your friends say, “Let me know what I can do,” you need to forget about “bothering them,” by keeping a simple truth in mind: They may know nothing about parenting, but they care about you, Singley says

Ask them to keep checking in even when there’s no reply and to keep inviting you to stuff, even though you never can make it but want to. It’s asking for them to have a little faith that things will change. It’s saying, “I might be underwater, but don’t give up on me.” And that communication is far better than silence. 

Fatherhood can be tough on friendships. Here’s how to keep them alive after becoming a dad.