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Friend, I’m giving you a sneak peek at my letter to Florida:

Dear Gov Ronny D,

I know what it was like to grow up in a world where nobody spoke about being gay. In my small town, it wasn’t even a word that was whispered unlike the racial slurs that turned my skin brown. (That’s how these words work, right?) Imagine if someone had said Gay to me how different my life would have been. Even in passing, if someone had just taken the time to mention Gay or Queer or Trans or told me about people who were Lesbian, Bisexual, Pansexual or any of the other rainbow array of “choices,” I’d be living la vida hetro.

<<We Say All The Words!>> [link removed]

But, thanks to you and your Florida Gaytors, there is clarity, finally, with the bestowal of this grand logic: NOT sayin Gay didn’t make me like the “opposite sex” so therefore, (I really can’t thank you enough for this Einsteinian equationship you’ve solved for me and my people) — if my own group of Don’t Say Gay-ers had actually said Gay, I would have turned out straight! Whew, dodged a bullet there.

So, dear Ron, thanks again for helping me and my kind with these mental gymnastics, for your sagaycity, and for helping me finally understand how that darn closet door swung so completely open. Who knew that the silencing of all words not pertaining to anything heterosexual was the key to my gay freedom!

<<GAY GAY GAY>> [link removed]

Gay-ly,

Dc Lozano
Gay California Political Director

PS: I’m doing my best to say gay as much as possible so that straights like you can stay that way. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. Ok, there. This should help you stay safe for a while longer. (gay!)

This letter was written as satire. If what Florida is doing wasn’t so harmful, it’d be funny.


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