Anti-Racism Work Continued - Tone Policing
Black History Month might be over, but our advocacy for Black lives never ends. Anti-racism work also extends to how we listen and communicate with people. I ask you to ask yourself- how do we respond to people of color when they reach out for help? Are we actively listening to them? Are we taking into consideration their concerns and what they have to say? Are we talking back to them in a way that belittles them and makes them feel unseen?
Even if it is unintentional, when we treat people of color as if they are always angry and full of rage (which their feelings are completely valid in a world and in a country where their voices have been ignored and erased for hundreds of years and continues to be now), we are dismissing their experiences and overlooking their needs.
In my own anti-racism work, I came across an article from athlete Taylor Rae Almonte about the "Angry Black Woman" stereotype that white people frequently give Black women when they are expressing their genuine feelings. Here are some excerpts from Taylor's article:
Examples of Tone Policing:
"Your language is divisive"
"You cannot speak to me in that tone"
"You'd have a lot more people on your side if you weren't so rude"
How to Stop Tone Policing:
The right reaction is to listen, check where and how you went wrong and do better in future.
Don’t be quick to condemn the anger, instead examine the root of the problem.
Focus should be on the issue and not the tone in which the issue is expressed.
Anger, frustration and pain are valid emotions. People (including you) are allowed to be angry and emotional when you are being mistreated. They do not owe anyone any sort of explanation and it doesn’t make them unreasonable or rude.
-------------------
We can all do better to stop and listen and think about what we're going to say, before we say it. We can do better to be more mindful and respectful of people that have different life experiences than we do. We do have the capability to learn from previous mistakes and to move forward with kindness and understanding.
