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Hello,
Valentine's day often results in introspection on our romantic relationships. Having the right partner brings solidity and deepens your life in a way that isn't possible with fragmentary relationships as a single person.
Here are 3 principles to consider when selecting a romantic partner:
1. Operate truthfully
This is foundational. Cultivate trust in a relationship by being transparent about every action you make in your life. To start with, be honest with yourself first. And then share with your partner who you are and what you stand for. You need to constantly evaluate if your actions create trust in your relationship or subtract from it and vice versa.
2. Ability to negotiate
The right person is someone you can negotiate with because there will be differences between you and them. And there should be because that means that the two of you are bringing different skill sets to bear the problem. That means that you have a more diverse range of potential responses, which can be good, but also that there will be conflict. Can you negotiate through the conflicts, and will the other person stick to their negotiated solution? If you find someone like that and they're of approximately the right age, and everything else seems to be in order, then that's a great sign.
3. Compatibility
You don't want too much mismatch between you and your partner on the five fundamental dimensions. So, for example, if you're really extroverted and you have a really introverted partner, you're going to engage in continual conflict about how much social activity the two of you should subject yourself to. It's very, very difficult for people who broadly differ on those dimensions to come to a consensus because it's not just a matter of opinion, right? It's a matter of difference. This is why it's useful to understand your personality; it gives you a better crack at finding someone that you can actually live with over the long run.
I hope you found this useful for your introspection.
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