|
Hello,
One of the biggest questions I'm asked is to how to improve a relationship, whether it be with a spouse, sibling, parent, child, friend or colleague.
Here are 3 principles neglected in relationships:
1. Give precise, meaningful praise - Watch the people you care about carefully. Extremely carefully. And when they do something that you would like to do more of, tell them that was really good and mean it. You have to be precise. "Here's what you just did that I think was great". Reward is intensely valuable for modifying behaviour.
2. Remove resentment - People struggle to give praise in relationships because of underlying resentment. If you resent someone and they do something good, you opt out of praising them because you don't want to reward them in any shape or form. In the process, you've just punished them for doing what you want.
3. Have urgency - When my parents were in their 70's, I only got to see them twice per year due to the long distance. I calculated that if they lived until their mid-eighties, I would only get to see them 40 more times. That's urgent. When you have a ticking clock, there's a sense of urgency that you better get it right. You don't have as many opportunities as you imagine to spend with your loved ones.
It is not enough to make time for your relationships; you must be investing your attention in them too.
If you're looking to invest and build rewarding relationships this year, my Discovering Personality Course gives tools and mental models to improve your future personal and professional relationships.
For New Year's, the course is 47% off for the next 48 hours. You will also receive free access to the Understand Myself "Big Five" personality assessment.
|
