From xxxxxx <[email protected]>
Subject Trump to Skip 2024 Campaign and Go Straight to Claiming He Won
Date October 16, 2021 3:10 AM
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[“The 2024 election was so stolen it makes the 2020 election
look not stolen.” ] [[link removed]]

TRUMP TO SKIP 2024 CAMPAIGN AND GO STRAIGHT TO CLAIMING HE WON  
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Andy Borowitz
October 12, 2021
The New Yorker
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_ “The 2024 election was so stolen it makes the 2020 election look
not stolen.” _

, "Donald Trump" by Gage Skidmore is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

 

PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report
[[link removed]])—Donald J. Trump
will skip the 2024 campaign and go straight to claiming that he won,
the former reality-show host has confirmed.

Speaking to reporters, Trump said that campaigning in 2024 would be
“a waste of time, quite frankly, because I have already won that
election.”

Asked how he could have won an election that is not scheduled to occur
for another three years, he said, “People are saying that it already
did happen. A lot of very smart people are calling me and saying
that.”

Trump said that, although he already won the 2024 election, “there
was fraud and corruption like you wouldn’t believe.”

“The 2024 election was so stolen it makes the 2020 election look not
stolen,” he said. “The fact that I won in 2024 even though it was
stolen from me is amazing, and, quite frankly, fantastic.”

Trump lashed out at a reporter who asked if he planned to run yet
again in 2028. “I already won in 2028,” he said. “That’s a
stupid question and you’re a disgrace.”

_Andy Borowitz
[[link removed]] is a Times
best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker
since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report
[[link removed]], a satirical column
on the news._

_More Satire from the Borowitz Report_

* _Republicans protest lack of rioters
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the January 6th commission._

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