I still remember how two questions stuck in my throat the night my boyfriend, Max, revealed he was not taking me to any ordinary Halloween party. The first being, “Are you joking?” and the second, “Can we please go to Denny’s instead?” Max popped the surprise as we hurtled down the 405 North, costumed and jammed into his faithful jeep with the chipped silver paint. Minutes from finishing a two-hour drive, it seemed his timing was strategic. I’d look like a party pooper if I protested, and Max knew I would.
Why are men like this? Seriously, why? Why TF do they think any of us want to receive a picture on our phones of their dick? Ever? I literally cannot think of a time that I’ve welcomed the experience of hearing ding!, and looking at my phone, only to see a grainy image of a hairy cock and balls in poor lighting pop up on my screen.
#22953140 "I work on a sex chat site. You would not believe the number of dirty old men who want to cheat on their wives with 18 year olds. You’d also not believe the number of wrinkly old dick pics."
#25753069 "Keeping saying how happy you are with your wife and that you love her. Maybe you’ll start to believe it even though we both know it’s not true. Considering you send me dick pics and all. HUGE EYEROLL"
