The Olympics are here, and let's be honest...no one should be bothered with mundane responsibilities when Team USA is busy collecting gold medals. 

After all, It's our duty as patriotic Americans to dedicate the next two and a half weeks to rabidly cheering on our athletes, whether they be runners, cyclists, gymnasts, or even racer walkers.

To help you avoid real-world responsibilities and fulfill your duty of supporting America's athletes, I've put together a helpful email you can forward to your boss... 

To Whom It May Concern,

Please excuse (               ) from all obligations starting July 23rd through August 8th, as they will be actively supporting Team USA throughout the Tokyo Olympics.

The two-and-a-half-week absence is substantial; however, I assure you Team USA depends on (             's) support. Simply put, they cannot afford to miss any of the action -- especially considering the time difference.

Please understand that opportunities like this only occur once every four years, and this time, we waited five. 

To conclude, (             ) will circle back after the Toyoko Olympics. 

Respectfully,

- Representative Andrew Learned

If you receive any pushback, just send them my way. 

USA all the way!