As a Premium member, you’ll enjoy ad-free browsing, access to exclusive members-only content, and anytime access to our writing forum — where you can submit and vote on headline pitches.
 

As our free gift to you — for a very limited time — we’ll send you an incredibly fancy copy of The Sacred Texts once you secure your Premium membership.
 

Complete with faux-leather cover, foil stamp, and hundreds of pages of the most inspired and brilliant satirical humor ever conceived of by man, you’ll love The Sacred Texts.
 

This book is thick. It’s heavy. It’s got hundreds of pretty, glossy pictures. Your coffee table will never look more beautiful!
 

With your annual premium subscription to The Babylon Bee, you’ll gain access to all of the above… and more.
 

Best of all, you can rest assured that when you become a subscriber, your support helps us stand up to the attacks of the radical, “woke” leftists — including Snopes, Facebook, The New York Times, and a host of others — who are consistently seeking to discredit and de-platform us.
 

A beautiful coffee table book, a subscription to the internet’s finest fake news site, and the opportunity to defend satire from the woke humor police? What could be better?!
 

But look -- we have a limited supply of books, and we want to make sure you get your copy before they're all gone. Click here to claim the most stunning literary work your coffee table will ever support.