Dear John,

My name is Brandon and as a proud Care Fellow, I’d like to take a moment to thank you for joining us in Caring Across Generations’ week-long culture change campaign, Man Enough to Care. The series brought a lot of tough discussions around masculinity and care responsibilities to the forefront of an evolving national discourse around care needs of the future. As a caregiving man, it is powerful to see my experiences reflected in this series, and that’s why I want to see more transformative work like this.

Please make a gift today to propel this kind of groundbreaking work forward!

Those of us who have been caregivers for some time already know what the general assumptions about care work are. For one, it’s viewed through a very gendered lens where men are not seen as caregivers even though we make up 40% of caregivers in this country. Then there’s the unpreparedness for the moment, for the emotional toll it takes on you, for the financial stressors and exorbitant costs of bringing in external supports, to the manual labor involved in taking care of a loved one's every physical need. There isn’t space for men to engage in these conversations about how we acclimate to the role care plays in our lives and overcome our conditioned incomprehension of care matters. Participating in care work is the purest form of love we can demonstrate for those who cared so deeply for us, especially considering all of us will need care at some point in our lives.

When I graduated with my Master’s degree about five years ago, my mother’s condition deteriorated precipitously as I attempted to hold on to a vision of my future that would allow me to retain my independence and somehow coordinate care for her back home. Over the following months and after several trips back and forth, my new reality set in – the only way to ensure my mother received the proper full-time care was for me to return home. Going into this, I had no idea how labor-intensive care work was or the emotional toll that it would take on both of us. As a man, there are very few support spaces where we get to share the challenges of assuming these roles in a culture where care work isn’t seen for the countless women, especially women of color who fill these critical roles, never mind the gender normative stereotypes that stop us from leaning into this act of love.

At Caring Across Generations, we are keeping families like mine and yours at the forefront of discussing how best to move forward with policies that reflect our collective values and more importantly, our growing needs. Any gift you can make today will help us continue the critical work of changing our culture and our policies to uplift and support caregiving families.

Last week we also held a lobby week, and many of my peers met with members of Congress to share our care challenges. We urged them to take action on legislation that can help mitigate the devastation of this pandemic which has shone a light on the problems with a healthcare model that favors institutional care over home and community based services. I’m profoundly thankful for the opportunity to be involved with this community of caregivers who are changing the way we view care in this country while working towards common sense policy reforms that meet the needs of all American families. More importantly, I’m thankful for supporters like you who continue to give of your time and resources to ensure we are able to fulfill our mission.

Your generosity is needed now more than ever as we get closer to meaningful reform that will dramatically improve the quality of life experienced by all - caregivers and care recipients. We hope you will make a gift today in support of the work that’s already been done and the exciting care agenda that lies ahead.

It is because of our generous donors and institutional partners that we continue to expand our reach connecting with influencers and allies who can help amplify our message across this great land. Thank you for your support of our work, for reading my story and for your generosity which will continue to fuel the movement.

United in care,
Brandon Will