[1]Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for Congress
Content warning: This email contains details regarding abuse, violence,
and sexual assault.
Monday night, I hopped on IG live to talk about what happened at the
Capitol. My story is one of many. It’s not the only story or the central
story.
But, it’s important to share because so many of the people who helped
perpetrate what happened are trying to tell us to move on and forget about
what happened – saying it isn’t a big deal.
They’re asking us to move on for their own convenience. These are the same
tactics used by abusers. What they are really asking is: “Can you forget
about this so we can do it again?”
I'm a survivor of sexual assault, and I haven't told many people that in
my life. But when we go through trauma, whether we have neglectful parents
or any kind of trauma, these episodes can compound on one another. Part of
my hesitancy to tell this story until now has to do with some of my
trauma. As a survivor, I struggle with the idea of being believed.
Many Republicans have done everything they can to try to rewrite history.
They say we’re exaggerating or stoking tensions or even that I should
apologize. Senators Josh Hawley and Ted Cruz have had nearly a month to
apologize for their role, but over and over they’ve doubled down and said
they did the right thing and if they could go back, they’d do it all
again. That’s why they need to resign, because they will do it again.
First, let’s dispel the idea that this insurrection happened suddenly –
that there was no way for Hawley, Cruz or Trump not to see this violence
coming or anticipate their role in stoking it. Everyone knew something was
going to happen.
One week before, I started to get text messages from other members of
Congress saying that I needed to be careful on Wednesday. So I started
thinking through a security plan with my staff.
Insurrectionists arrived in town starting on Monday. That day, as I exited
the Capitol, a crowd of Trump supporters were gathered directly behind my
car. All there was to protect myself and other members of Congress was a
waist-high fence.
My heart was beating fast. They were yelling insults my way. I tried to
lighten the mood to create enough space for me to drive away and get out
of there.
Later that day, I went to the grocery store and saw all these people in
MAGA hats. It felt tense. And, I guess it felt like – whether you’re from
the Bronx, New York City, Queens, or wherever – you can just catch a vibe
and kind of know a general sense of when things aren’t right. And things
started to feel “not right” when I was in that grocery store that Monday
night.
By Tuesday, 24 hours before the events on January 6th, I had already
resolved that I wouldn’t go back outside except to vote. Myself and other
members asked about security plans, and we were told that it was being
handled by Capitol Police and couldn’t be shared.
Fast forward, Wednesday, January 6: At 12:45pm, my chief of staff called
me and asked how I was feeling. In that moment, I was feeling great – Rev.
Warnock and Jon Ossoff had just won. I was on cloud nine. It took a weight
off my shoulders – and I hoped maybe it would take the wind out of the
sails of the growing mob outside the Capitol.
Shortly after we hung up, I heard violent bangs on my office door and all
the doors into our congressional office. My legislative director – G –
told me to hide. I ran into the bathroom – then quickly realized I should
have gone to the closet instead. When I opened the door to move, I heard
that someone had already gotten into my office. It was too late. Then,
they started to yell: “Where is she?” “Where is she?” “Where is she?”
This is the moment I thought everything was over. As a spiritual person, I
thought: if this is the plan for me, people – you all – would be able to
take it from here. I felt that things were going to be okay and that I had
fulfilled my purpose.
Peaking through the hinges of the door behind which I was hiding, I saw a
white man with a black beanie come into my direct office. He continued to
ask, “where is she?” “where is she?” Finally, I heard G follow him and say
“Boss, it’s OK to come out.”
The man in the black beanie was a Capitol Police officer – he was alone
with no partner, and I never heard him identify himself as Capitol Police
or anything. We weren’t sure if he was there to help us or hurt us. He was
looking at me with a tremendous amount of anger and hostility.
Yelling, he told us to go to a different building where all Members would
be extracted – not providing the room number or any other exact
information on where in the building that extraction point was. Still, we
started running. Alone with no escort and no specific location, we could
hear the rioters outside. Not knowing where to go, I ran to find the
offices of members I knew in the building. After running up and down the
stairs, googling frantically to find room numbers, I eventually found Rep.
Katie Porter’s office and asked if we could shelter with her.
She welcomed us in, and we started searching for where we could hide. We
pushed couches against the door. I found clothes and sneakers to change
into in case I needed to run, jump out of a window, or blend in with a
crowd. We turned off all the lights.
Shortly after we finished barricading ourselves, we received intelligence
that bombs were found not far from where we were. We discussed what we’d
do if the building exploded. Staffers were making decisions to put their
lives on the line to save us.
When I finally learned the location of the extraction point, I didn't feel
safe going there, knowing that some Republican members were live tweeting
the locations of the Speaker and others. I knew the National Guard hadn’t
been called. We were in Rep. Porter’s office for hours.
After the building was secure, I walked over to Rep. Pressley’s office
where she and her staffers made sure I was fed. We were at Ayanna’s office
until 4am as Congress finally proceeded with voting to certify the
electoral college. There are more details to share at some point, but not
today.
Rep. Pressley told me that night that what I experienced was traumatizing.
Hearing her say that, it forced me to pump my brakes. If you have
experienced any type of trauma, just admitting and recognizing it is
already a big step. The moment you admit that a thing happened to you is
hugely important.
I look back on this and Ayanna really helped my healing. Telling your
story is an important tool for healing, which is why I’m telling mine.
Together, we have 435 stories and we need to tell them because every time
a Republican gets on television and tells us to forget, these stories are
reminders of what they’re trying to absolve.
What happens now should not be a partisan issue. This moment is not about
a difference of political opinion. This is about basic humanity.
We knew that violence was expected on January 6. We knew the rioters
depended on someone upholding the lie that the presidential election was
fraudulent. Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley chose to tell the lie because they
thought it would be politically advantageous.
Six people have lost their lives, eyes and limbs have been lost, and many
more people traumatized. Even after all of that, not even an ‘I’m sorry.’
Not even an: ‘I didn’t realize what I said would contribute to this
violence and if I had known, I wouldn’t have done it.’ Instead the
response has been, ‘I did the right thing and I would do it again.’
If that is their stance, these members will continue to be a danger to
their colleagues. Given the same conditions, they will choose to endanger
their colleagues for political gain again. That’s why we need
accountability.
It’s not about revenge, it’s about creating safety. We are not safe with
people who hold political power who are willing to endanger lives for
political gain.
I appreciate you taking the time to read this or listen to my IG live.
I’ve been giving myself the time and space to heal. And, if you’ve
experienced trauma, I hope you’ll do the same. You don’t need to have
experienced the worst thing or the biggest thing. Talk to someone about
it. Acknowledge it in your heart.
Big hugs and build a snowman for me,
AOC
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PAID FOR BY ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ FOR CONGRESS
