It happens to the best of us. A wife, a friend, the kids are venting about something. They are obviously upset, so you listen. Listening is good! You can tell they need the outlet and are appreciating your ear. But then, then, you say some formulation of Hey why don’t you try to do X? The air chills, the mood shifts, and suddenly you, the good listener, are the bad guy. 
 
It’s obvious where you went wrong, but why was offering advice the wrong move? Most people feel they are capable of solving their own problems and simply want someone to listen to and understand why they’re feeling the way they’re feeling. When you chime in with an idea you are signaling to the person that the problem they face is really only a problem because they didn’t have the right solution. In effect you’re telling them it’s their fault. Instead of immediately offering solutions, take a beat and empathize. A good response, per Jonathan Robinson, a couple’s therapist and author, is “I can see that you’re upset, because…” This simple sentence shows your spouse that you are listening, that you empathize with their feelings, and that you trust them to handle their shit on their own. Not that you asked for our opinion, but that seems like a pretty good solution.