Dear John,

I have always been the friendly neighbor type. When I moved into my apartment building three years ago I quickly met Nicholas—a sharp-witted 94 year old WWII veteran who lived in an apartment near mine for over 30 years. We kept running into each other in the hallways. Good mornings turned into hellos, that turned into how are yous—those real how are yous, where you wait for responses, genuinely wanting to know.

Nicholas was very private and over time I learned more about his career as a tax accountant, his family, his friends, and his current struggles. Turned out he spent seventy-five percent of his time trying to ensure he had enough food—walking blocks to stand outside in long pantry lines, waiting for Meals on Wheels to arrive, and applying for SNAP (again).

Our hallway chats built a real relationship and before long I was hanging out with him in his apartment while he ate breakfast, cleaning up a bit, grabbing groceries, and convincing him to let me walk with him to the stores. We traded stories about our moms and religion, but looking around his apartment, I knew he needed more support.

Caring Across Generations is working toward a future where people like Nicholas, and caregivers like me, are valued and are supported by real policy. Can you chip in $25 or more to give us the momentum we need to fight for a care infrastructure in 2021?

Nicholas told me he wasn’t really alone—Jaime from 12B came and cleaned up the kitchen; Alex from 3C dropped off meals sometimes, and I did my part too. Altogether, there were 7 of us—determined to support Nicholas.

We built a community of care for Nicholas, and supported him as he needed us. This community of care was based on trust, care, and honoring Nicholas to dictate what support he felt comfortable receiving. We worked together to get him Access-A-Ride, SNAP, and more Veteran services, which took many many calls. But it all should have been easier—accessing meals, and to home and community based services to get the care he needed and with the space for him to direct the care and support.

In November of last year, he fell and was rushed to the local hospital. I saw him, sitting on that bed, his eyes flickering, the floors dirty, and knew we couldn’t leave him there. When he was released back to his apartment, we did what we could. But our care system is fragmented and impossible to navigate.

Help us fix this fragmented system by supporting our vision of a strong care infrastructure with a donation of $25 or more.

Months after his fall, we finally were able to get him home care, but the agency sent a new worker every day… and we could only get 8 hours of care per week. This wasn't enough time and the structure meant the care workers couldn't develop a real relationship with Nicholas. It was frustrating and there are other ways to structure care work. Nicholas deserved home care workers who knew him and supported him in living a dignified life.

Nicholas fell again, and in April passed away. I feel guilty, angry, sad, overwhelmed with frustration. He shouldn’t have had to be alone. No one deserves to feel forgotten and overlooked. We needed home-and community-based care services; we needed someone who was trained, well paid, and could give Nicholas the support he needed as he wanted. Nicholas deserved better support, a caring routine, an established relationship. We deserved better.

Please help us do better. Caring Across is working to change the way that care is valued, to support family caregivers in finding community, and fight for policy that lets us all thrive and live with dignity. Join us with a contribution of $25 or more today, to fight for policies like clearing home care waiting lists that will build a better care system and future for all of us.

With Hope,

Susannah Dyen, Director of Field & Organizing
Caring Across Generations