[A beaming Trump pronounced “total victory” over the weather,
which he called “the enemy of the people.”]
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TRUMP SIGNS EXECUTIVE ORDER GIVING HIM CONTROL OF WEATHER  
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Andy Borowitz
September 10, 2019
The New Yorker
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_ A beaming Trump pronounced “total victory” over the weather,
which he called “the enemy of the people.” _

, Mark Wilson / Getty

 

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report
[[link removed]])—In what some
congressional Democrats are calling a flagrant example of Presidential
overreach, Donald Trump on Tuesday signed an executive order giving
him total control of the weather.

Under the terms of the order, Trump would assume the unilateral power
to create all meteorological conditions, including but not limited to
hurricanes, tornadoes, tsunamis, hail, sleet, and wintry mix.

After signing the order, a beaming Trump pronounced “total
victory” over the weather, which he called “the enemy of the
people.”

“I have been treated very unfairly by the weather,” Trump said.
“The weather is a horrible person.”

On Fox News, Sean Hannity praised Trump’s decision to seize control
of the weather and compared it favorably to former President Barack
Obama’s weather policy, which he called “a trainwreck.”

“Obama just let the weather run wild,” Hannity said.

Although Trump’s executive order is certain to face legal
challenges, White House sources indicated that the President was ready
to press forward with an additional order giving him dominion over all
living things, the planets, and the stars.

_Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has
written for The New Yorker since 1998. In 2001, he created The
Borowitz Report [[link removed]], a
satirical news column that has millions of readers around the world,
for which he won the first-ever National Press Club award for humor.
The Borowitz Report was acquired by The New Yorker in 2012. His two
most recent books were both best-sellers: “The 50 Funniest American
Writers [[link removed]],”
which became the first title in the history of the Library of America
to make the Times best-seller list; and a memoir, “An Unexpected
Twist [[link removed]],” a
No. 1 best-seller, which Amazon named the Best Kindle Single of 2012.
As a comedian, he has performed sold-out shows around the world and
has made numerous television and radio appearances, including on
National Public Radio, VH1, and Comedy Central. His solo comedy show,
“Make America Not Embarrassing Again,” began touring the U.S. in
2018, and he is featured in the new PBS prime-time series “Retro
Report,” which débuts in 2019. He has been called a “Swiftian
satirist” (the Wall Street Journal), “America’s satire king”
(the Daily Beast), “one of the country’s finest satirists”
(the Times), and “one of the funniest people in America” (CBS
News’ “Sunday Morning”)._

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