Each month we give you an in-depth look at one of our 10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship. This month we’re taking a closer look at Healthy Conflict.
Hi
There’s no denying we all see a lot of conflict in the world these days. It’s there when you turn on the news. When you scroll through social media. When you go out and try to stay distanced. It can feel overwhelming and frustrating, so when you think about conflict, you may think “there’s no way having conflict in a relationship is healthy.”
Here’s the reality: No relationship is going to be100% conflict-free.
All relationships have their arguments, and that’s okay — having a healthy conflict means getting to the root of an issue and addressing it respectfully before it escalates into something bigger. You may even grow and have a strong bond from having thoughtful discussions with one another.
The next time conflict appears in your relationships, here are healthy ways to address it:
Actively Listen: When someone has an entirely different viewpoint, you may find yourself wanting to defend your beliefs — which is ok — but make sure you’re also respectfully listening to theirs. One way to ensure you're engaging in a healthy way is by reiterating the point you just heard. This allows them to confirm or correct themselves if their point didn’t come across in the way they hoped.
Take a Breath: If things are getting heated or you feel yourself getting angry, remember to breathe! Take a minute and collect yourself, go for a walk outside, listen to music, or find a quiet place where you can reset.
Be Present: Respond to that text later. In fact, try putting your phone, tablet, or laptop in another room, and make time and space for meaningful discussion.
Be Curious: Ask questions to get to the root of the other person’s feelings. Be open to new information and learning more. And remember, in a healthy relationship, your partner, friend, or family member will never belittle you, yell, or make you feel bad for your beliefs or values.
While you don’t have to agree on everything, it could be helpful to stop and remind each other that you’re on the same team. From there, you can choose to keep having the discussion over time, find a compromise, or even agree to disagree. It can take some work, but it’s possible to get to a resolution that you’re both satisfied with in the end!
More from our blog on Healthy Conflict:
7 Tips for Handling Conflict in Your Relationship
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How to Love Someone with Different Political Views
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Healthy Conflict: How to Let Someone Down Without Ghosting Them
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