Donald Trump just made Americans one hell of a promise: If Republicans control the House and Senate after the midterms, every adult American will get a $5,000 "Trump Dividend."

Wait a minute.

Republicans ALREADY control the House and Senate. That's why things suck so much.  

So pay up, Donald!  It's not our fault if you are too addled or stupid to realize your own party controls Congress.  

You said you'd give us the $5K, and we did our part early. And given how much your economy sucks, we could use the money.

So get out your damn sharpie and start writing checks!