HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

Donald Trump’s weird assistant is raising eyebrows for her over-the-top obsession with her boss. Some warn Democrats should sit this one out.

• President Donald Trump has many sycophantic aides, but none more obsessively loyal than Natalie Harp. The 35-year-old assistant has long been known to D.C. insiders as the “human printer” for carrying around a portable printer, so she can hand the boss hard copies of (often misleading) positive coverage at a moment’s notice.

• But Harp entered a harsh national spotlight after Trump chose her as one of the select few to escape from danger on a secret flight last month — while leaving Marco Rubio and Stephen Miller in the “decoy plane” that he apparently thought could be shot down by Iran.

• Harp is no ordinary presidential aide. She once rode in the trunk of an SUV in Trump’s motorcade when there wasn’t a seat for her, hasn’t taken a single day off during his second term, and wrote him a letter saying: “You are all that matters to me.”

• And now, the giggling has begun. Sen. Jon Ossoff (D-GA) invoked her name during a fiery attack on Trump on Sunday: “He doesn’t want to do the job,” Ossoff said. “He wants to build his ballroom and travel with Natalie on their apparently defenseless flying palace gifted by the emir of Qatar.”

• That comment — tame though it may be — opened the floodgates to internet mockery, a slew of WTF-is-going-on-here articles in national media, and touched a nerve in MAGAworld. But it also prompted some on the left to warn that this line of attack risks sinking down to Trump’s level, when there are far more compelling issues at stake (inflation, war, creeping authoritarianism, and so on).

• Former Obama adviser David Axelrod wrote that Ossoff’s broadside “distracted and detracted from the power of the message.”

• Others on Capitol Hill are on the fence. “What exactly is the drama? Senator Ossoff is right: All Trump is interested in doing is building his ballroom and spending time with her,” Rep. Yassamin Anasari (D-AZ) told What A Day. “Natalie Harp has extraordinary access to the president and enables all of his worst impulses.”

There’s little question that the remarks get under Trump’s skin, though. The fiasco has his team absolutely fuming.

• One administration official slammed Ossoff’s comment as a “cheap shot.” White House comms chief Stephen Cheung attacked the senator, saying that “Jon Jackoff has to be the biggest cuck loser in politics.” Trump officials are pushing back so hard, one person close to the White House told Semafor, because Melania “doesn’t like these types of things” and Trump gets mad about personal attacks.

• One former Trump official also described the attacks as sexist. “It’s so mean and so unfair. It’s really disgusting and gross what happens to women in politics,” the former official, who knows Harp, told me. “We are branded as sluts or crazies. It’s abhorrent.”

• Whether Democrats will keep harping on Harp is TBD.

• “As for whether it’s something to keep doing, I’m not sure,” a House Democratic aide told me. “It may ultimately work better as a one-time thing than as an ongoing strategy. But in today’s incredibly low-attention environment, I thought it was effective at breaking through, getting people talking, and making a broader political point.”

Beneath the controversy, the core mystery remains: Why is Harp so ridiculously obsessed with Trump? She was raised ultra-conservative, her estranged brother told CNN, and never broke out of that “delusion.” He added: “I don’t think it’s a physical attraction. Let’s get real.”

WHAT ELSE? 👀

Donald Trump bragged about his new helipad on the White House lawn while giving a tour today, sounding like a construction manager, the Associated Press noted. “That’s stone that, if you took a hammer and you started hammering right now — all day long — you wouldn’t see a mark on it, literally, that’s the kind of power it is,” Trump said. Thanks, no one asked!

Trump also told reporters that he plans to meet with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un later this year, claiming that the regime has “57 very powerful nuclear weapons.” What could go wrong?

An Army unit in Georgia will allow servicemembers to take four days off to play the new Grand Theft Auto video game — if they sign up to serve for more years in uniform, CBS News reports. “The idea was to have a unique incentives program that connects to what soldiers are interested in,” an Army spokesperson told the outlet. Do these guys realize that they can play video games as much as they want if they don’t sign up for several more years in the service?

The Trump administration paused 50 percent tariffs on some Canadian products that had been scheduled to go into effect today. The two countries are looking to finalize a deal which would allow greater access for U.S. goods into the Canadian market, according to the Office of the U.S. Trade Representative.

Democratic socialist Angie Nixon defeated retired Lt. Col. Alex Vindman, an establishment-backed candidate who raised millions more than her, in Florida’s Democratic Senate primary. Two Trump-backed Republicans, including scandal-plagued Rep. Cory Mills, also lost their bids. “I told Congressman Cory Mills of Florida, a friend of mine, to get out of the Race, but he wouldn’t listen,” Trump wrote on social media. “He thought he could win, so who can blame him?”

Former Rep. Mary Peltola received the most votes — 48 percent — in Alaska’s Senate primary. Sen. Dan Sullivan received the second most with 42 percent. And not-senator Dan Sullivan came in third, with over 2 percent. Not bad! All of them will advance to the general election.

Elon Musk has made his mark on the moon — literally. New images released by NASA show an area of the moon’s surface that was dented by a SpaceX rocket that crashed earlier this month.

College students at some universities can now pay their tuition using PayPal and Venmo, according to the companies. Experts warn users to be careful, since it might be difficult to get your money back if you accidentally send a semester’s worth of fees to the wrong account. “The stakes are much higher when you’re sending tens of thousands of dollars of tuition than 20 bucks to a friend for dinner,” Carla Sanchez-Adams, a senior attorney at the National Consumer Law Center, told the Washington Post.

LIGHT AT THE END… ☀️

An experimental vaccine stopped cancer from returning or spreading in patients with high-risk melanoma, according to researchers. The study is a promising sign that a new life-extending drug could be available for millions of people with skin cancer in the near future. And it’s yet another reminder that science is real, that vaccines work, and that the government shouldn’t listen to the dead brainworm guy.

Any “Succession” fans out there who love to chef it up? Another real-life business dynasty should (in my opinion) get its own wholesome spinoff: Six generations of the Lodge family have kept their cast-iron pan company running, ever since patriarch Joseph Lodge started firing skillets in 1896. The current CEO is the first non-family member to run the company, and I dig his philosophy: “We want to be that indie band who never sells out,” he told the Wall Street Journal. Rock on, Lodge.

Speaking of the culinary arts, astronauts Jessica Meir and Anil Menon are having a blast with their cooking show called “Chez ISS” on the International Space Station. In this week’s installment, they sampled kale and wasabi mustard grown in space. “Oooo, smell it! Smells like Earth,” Meir says. “I miss Earth, but luckily we can see it,” Menon responds.

Firefighters in Tennessee saved a dog named Carl who had spent 17 hours stuck on the edge of a cliff. Only days later, “he’s running around and chasing balls like nothing ever happened,” Carl’s owner said.

Adidas launched a new line of soccer jerseys… for dogs. Someone get Carl one, ASAP!