John,

This End-of-Month fundraising deadline is on my ass like pockets on pants, and we need your help.

Can you pitch in $5? That's less than the cost of a goat milk latte and an avocado toast, not that y'all drink that anyway.

$5 helps us in a lot of ways.

The pink-haired wokers in the Senate want nothing more than to shut me up. But they're about as effective as using a fork to eat soup, and I've even seen a few try.

We need 50 more fighters to join the race before midnight and beat our fundraising goal like my elliptical Margaret beats me. Can we count on you?

God bless,
John N. Kennedy