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Walmart is hosting VIP tours for World Cup visitors

If the tour is taking place in a closed store, they might walk away pretty amazed by America. However if it’s the middle of the day with the aisles full of sweaty Americans, we might end up in a world war. What do you think our visitors should see to get the complete United State of America experience?

Man named world’s oldest water skier just before 95th birthday

Most people would probably be happy just being able to float in the water at age 95

More Stories Below, but first some new content in the News Sidequest Podcast Universe…

Auditory Anthology

SCI-FI SHORT STORIES - NARRATED BY DARREN MARLAR & PRODUCED BY KEITH CONRAD

Tales From the Blue Line - The Crossing Guard - A mother’s attempt to file a simple thank-you note for her son’s longtime crossing guard unravels into a mystery that reveals a protective presence who has been guiding generations of students safely across the street, long after her official retirement—and her death.

Tales From The Blue Line: Every morning at three, Mason and Ally ride the Blue Line into downtown Chicago together. The train brings out its own brand of weird, which has led to Mason and Ally trading spooky stories to help their commute pass a little faster.

Tales From the Blue Line - The Crossing Guard Keith Conrad / Darren Marlar Episode

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Also Worth A Look…

• Cannibalism Is Bad for Your Health, Scientists Find - It’s also probably bad for your neighbor’s health. Also, how exactly did they gather data for this study?

• Two Hours? Too Long! Ideal Movie Length Is Shrinking for Americans - Do you look at length before you decide to go to a movie? I am always paying attention to the story and usually the length only comes up if it’s a movie by James Cameron or Christopher Nolan and in that case I’m going to see it no matter how long it is

• Sheriff Unveils Humanoid Robot for Hostage Negotiation Purposes, Which Definitely Won’t End in Disaster - I think this is a great idea. Because both parties will be so annoyed at dealing with a robot they will completely forget why they were angry with each other

• Early Mammoth Diet in Americas Fueled Migration and Mass Extinction, Study Shows - It’s really their own fault for being so delicious

• Doctor with “lust for murder” convicted in deaths of 15 patients - You’d think after about 5 or so, his online reviews would have clued people in that there was a problem

• Most Taste Testers Prefer Insect Protein Bar to Cereal Option in Study - I’m guessing those were blind taste tests

• White House touts launch of 25 Freedom Fuel gas stations - Government owned businesses?

• Crews investigate sunken boat spotted in Lake Michigan - You’d think there would be some kind of a record of a boat sinking

• Naked and unafraid: Sumner man springs into action to fight garage fire in birthday suit - Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear nothing at all. Nothing at all. NOTHING AT ALL