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If there’s one thing this administration does well, it’s bringing out the worst in the nation’s jerks. Here are the ones that caught our eye this week.
MARKWAYNE MULLIN. If you thought things would get better at Homeland Security after Trump kicked ICE Barbie to the curb, you’d be wrong. Just over a month into his role, Markwayne Mullin is looking pretty jerky in his own right. Earlier this week, he announced [ [link removed] ] that the DHS is “drawing up plans” to punish sanctuary cities by preventing them from processing international flights. And because that wasn’t enough nastiness for the week, he’s also doing absolutely nothing about the inhumane conditions at a New Jersey detention center, which has prompted [ [link removed] ] days of protests by concerned Jerseyans and a hunger strike by no less than 300 detainees. Markwayne thinks [ [link removed] ] it’s enough to be “meeting the calorie standard” in the facility, and says the detainees “can go back to their country and get whatever food they want.” Shameful.
TRUMP’S DOJ. Another despicable department this week is Trump’s Justice Department, whose latest move in its revenge campaign against Trump’s enemies is to launch [ [link removed] ] another investigation into E. Jean Carroll, a court-confirmed victim of sexual assault by Trump. According to CNN’s sources, the DOJ is looking to find evidence that she perjured herself when she said that she had no outside funding in her two lawsuits against him. In other words, Trump couldn’t win either suit, so he’s sending his minions to do his dirty work.
THE CABINET. Some people are saying that Trump’s UFC event [ [link removed] ] will be the first-ever sporting event to be held at the White House. Little do they know that all term long, Trump’s Cabinet has been meeting in the People’s House to compete in the HIGHLY PRESTIGIOUS and TOTALLY REAL Ass-Kissing Olympics [ [link removed] ]! In lengthy televised meetings, Cabinet members have been making sure Trump knows just how grateful they are that he “saved this country.” Among the star brown-nosers is Commerce Sec. Howard Lutnick, who has told Trump that he has “achieved what nobody believed was possible,” not once, not twice, but five times. Then there’s EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin, who has said multiple times that Trump is “willing to take a bullet” for America. But if I had to give the gold medal to anyone, it would be Little Marco. Of all the Cabinet members, the Secretary of State Rubio has made the most flattering comments about Trump, in particular focusing on Trump’s favorite myth—that he is “the only chance we have for peace.” Perfect form, Marco.
STEPHEN & KATIE MILLER. Then there’s Stephen and Katie Miller, who can dish it out but just can’t take it. On Tuesday night, Stephen, the White House Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy, took to social media to respond [ [link removed] ] to a photo of James Talarico on the Democrats’ official account, writing: “Democrats made history in Texas by nominating their first transgender senate candidate.” The Democrats fired back, “shut up you ugly fuck.” Justified, if you ask me. Katie Miller went straight into victim mode, posting a photo of the staffer she claims made the comment and calling her “a sad, unhappy, female Liberal.” Then she ran crying [ [link removed] ] to Fox News, lamenting that the kind of “violent” language the Democrats used to burn her husband was responsible for the assassination attempts on Donald Trump. I think you and your whole party need to take a good, hard look in the mirror, Katie.
TEXAS GOP PRIMARY VOTERS. While we’re on the subject of Texas, GOP voters in the Lone Star State this past week chose [ [link removed] ] their own Senate nominee—and they chose very poorly. On Tuesday, 24-year incumbent John Cornyn lost in a landslide to Trump endorsee Ken Paxton, an impeached and disgraced state attorney general. That’s despite Cornyn trying tirelessly to brand himself as a Trump loyalist who votes “yes on every major Trump law.” It just goes to show how much the GOP has become a cult of personality—and these voters are all complicit in keeping it that way.
Of course, the biggest jerk of the week, month, year, and decade is always Donald Trump himself, but there’s only so much space here to write about all the horrible things he does in a single day, much less a week. Fuck Trump.
Now scroll down for our Heroes of the Week!
This Past Week
My Substack Lives are open to all subscribers, unless noted. Click below if you missed any of my conversations from the past week!
Tuesday with Scott MacFarlane [ [link removed] ]
Tuesday with Xander Schultz [ [link removed] ]
Thursday with Quin Hillyer [ [link removed] ]
Thursday with [ [link removed] ] [ [link removed] ]Edwin Eisendrath [ [link removed] ]
Friday with Ted Dintersmith [ [link removed] ]
Friday with Mike Nellis [ [link removed] ]
Amid the daily onslaught of infuriating news, we have to acknowledge the heroes among us. The list continues to grow, as more and more of us stand up to the tyrant and his fascist regime. Courage is infectious. Be brave!
THE JUDICIARY. As always, judges across the nation heroically kept the Trump Administration in check this week. One federal judge temporarily halted [ [link removed] ] the creation of a $1.8 billion slush fund for Trump allies as she considers permanently blocking it. Meanwhile, a bipartisan group of former federal judges have filed a lawsuit [ [link removed] ] challenging the fund, calling the settlement that authorized it “fraud on the court.” Another federal judge temporarily blocked [ [link removed] ] the Kennedy Center from closing for renovations, as well as ruling that Trump broke the law when he tacked his name onto it. Finally, a federal court blocked [ [link removed] ] Alabama Republicans’ plans for a gerrymandered congressional map, ruling that it “intentionally discriminated based on race.” Great work, judges!
POPE LEO XIV & BRANDON JOHNSON. Fresh off releasing his historic AI encyclical [ [link removed] ], Pope Leo visited with Brandon Johnson, mayor of his hometown of Chicago, at the Vatican. They were focused on social justice issues, but Trump just had to make it about himself, taking to Truth Social to grumble [ [link removed] ] that Johnson is “useless.” Johnson replied [ [link removed] ] with a reminder of just how useless Americans think Trump is: “Chicagoans have had more than enough of Trump’s blasphemous war in Iran. Someone should explain to the President that he’s only making it harder for working families to make ends meet.” Well put, Mayor.
ANTI-CORRUPTION CAUCUS. Also telling it like it is are a group of brave House Democrats, who are forming [ [link removed] ] a group to resist the rampant corruption under the Trump Administration and throughout U.S. government. The group is led by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Jason Cruz, and Mike Levin, who said, “At no other point in American history have we seen corruption so rampant in our politics. We must confront this corruption head-on, hold the powerful accountable, and ensure our government works for the people again.” Spot on, reps.
MINNESOTA & SOUTH CAROLINA. These states are standing up to the Trump Administration, too. In Minnesota, a county that’s prosecuting an ICE agent for assault, despite pushback from the DHS, says [ [link removed] ] he has been arrested. Meanwhile, South Carolina’s Senate declined [ [link removed] ] to advance a Trump-advocated congressional map designed to give Republicans an edge in midterms. We need more state and local governments to defy Trump like this.
ARTISTS DROPPING OUT. Trump’s “Great American State Fair” plans have hit a stumbling block, as more than half of the artists booked to perform have canceled [ [link removed] ] after learning that the event is aligned with MAGA. Artists including Morris Day, Martina McBride, and the Commodores say they were led to believe that the event was nonpartisan. They signed up to celebrate America, not Trump. Good on them for backing out.
Did we miss anyone? Send your heroes our way [ mailto:[email protected] ]!
Good Reads for This Week
Creative Destruction [ [link removed] ] —High Stakes
Trump Bought Up to $5 Million in Dell Stock, Then Dell Technologies Lands Massive Pentagon Contract [ [link removed] ] —Blue Circle
Trump’s Other Taxpayer-Funded Grift [ [link removed] ] —Salty Politics
The Checkout Line [ [link removed] ] —Tom Joad
LISTEN: This Is Not Fucking Normal [ [link removed] ] —The Banter Newsletter
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