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Welcome back to Jerks of the Week, where we’ve rounded up another crew of the nation’s worst.
VIRGINIA SUPREME COURT. Of all the jerks this week, Virginia’s Supreme Court is at the top of the list—specifically, the four justices in the majority decision handed down on Friday. The ruling handed a win to Republicans, striking down [ [link removed] ] a congressional map that would have flipped up to four House seats to blue. Why? Apparently, it wasn’t presented to voters the right way and notice wasn’t posted on courthouse doors a full 90 days prior to the election. Bullshit, in other words. The state’s Democrats say they plan on appealing the ruling to the U.S. Supreme Court. Let’s hope they win.
HOWARD LUTNICK. Then there’s Donald Trump’s Secretary of Commerce. Given the insane stories we hear weekly about Pete Hegseth, Kash Patel, and the rest of Trump’s motley crew, it’s no surprise that Lutnick happens to be an old pal of convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. After initially trying to lie his way out of scrutiny, he admitted [ [link removed] ] in a closed-door interview with House lawmakers this past week that he visited Epstein’s island up to seven years after he previously claimed he broke off his relationship with him. The only response he could come up with as to why was “unexplainable.” Shrewd, Howard.
Even then, Democratic lawmakers say [ [link removed] ] his antsy and evasive responses made it clear he was still lying. Many are hoping for a public or videotaped hearing so that the American public can see just how far his dishonesty goes. “They deserve to see the sweat on the secretary’s brow as he struggles to answer basic questions about his lies to the American people,” said Rep. James Walkinshaw. And if we take back the House in the midterms, we just might get to.
KASH PATEL. Meanwhile, the plot has thickened in our gallant FBI director’s attempts to ward off reports of his drinking problem. The same journalist who first covered staff members’ concerns about his “erratic behavior and excessive drinking” has revealed [ [link removed] ] that Kash been handing out branded bottles of liquor. The bottles are engraved with his name and the FBI shield, and the band around the shield features his name (again) in preferred spelling: Ka$h. You really can’t make this shit up. Kash isn’t happy that his stash has been discovered, and is now reportedly conducting a criminal leak investigation [ [link removed] ] into the journalist. This is highly unusual, with the First Amendment rights of journalists usually shielding them from subpoenas of their records. As per usual, the FBI denies that any investigation is underway, which is also what Kash said [ [link removed] ] about drinking on the job.
That’s not all he’s been up to lately. This week, Kash accused [ [link removed] ] former FBI officials and leading Democrats–including Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton–of securing warrants to spy on Trump’s 2016 campaign and first term in office. He also accused them of hiring a “bogus intelligence asset” overseas to “manufacture fraudulent, fake, unverifiable information.” Like all super credible, really really true, totally honest claims (not), these accusations were made on the podcast of Fox News host Sean Hannity. Cla$$ic Ka$h.
JUDGE JP BOULEE. Speaking of bogus investigations, federal judge JP Boulee has refused [ [link removed] ] to order the DOJ to return election materials from Fulton County, Georgia. County officials filed to get it back after it was seized by the FBI as part of its investigation into alleged fraud in the 2020 presidential elections. The officials say that the FBI’s search request omitted conclusions from previous probes, indicating that there was no sign of wrongdoing in the county’s handling of the election. Even Judge Boulee couldn’t deny that parts of it were “problematic” and “misleading,” but he said that he still could not take action. Thanks for nothing, JP.
INDIANA REPUBLICAN PRIMARY VOTERS. Equally disappointing are Indiana’s Republican voters. Indiana held its primary day [ [link removed] ] this past week, and damn near every Republican state legislator who opposed Trump’s redistricting plan lost. Not a surprise. I know there are still folks out there wishing the GOP will finally rid itself of Trump. That ain’t happening. It’s his party. He remains their dear leader.
Of course, the biggest jerk of the week, month, year, and decade is always Donald Trump himself, but there’s only so much space here to write about all the horrible things he does in a single day, much less a week. Fuck Trump.
Now scroll down for our Heroes of the Week!
This Past Week
My Substack Lives are open to all subscribers, unless noted. Click below if you missed any of my conversations from the past week!
Tuesday with Xander Schultz [ [link removed] ]
Amid the daily onslaught of infuriating news, we have to acknowledge the heroes among us. The list continues to grow, as more and more of us stand up to the tyrant and his fascist regime. Courage is infectious. Be brave!
POPE LEO XIV. Just a few hours before Secretary of State Marco Rubio was set to smooth things over with the Pope, Donald Trump took to The Hugh Hewitt Show to accuse [ [link removed] ] the first American pontiff of thinking “it’s okay for Iran to have a nuclear weapon” and “endangering a lot of Catholics.” Pope Leo responded with his usual grace, telling reporters that “the Church’s mission is to preach the Gospel and peace.” It comes as no surprise, then, that a recent poll found [ [link removed] ] that Americans feel a lot better about Leo’s messaging than that of Trump and his Pulp Fiction-quoting friend Pete Hegseth. Thanks for being the voice we need, Pope Leo.
MICHIGAN SPECIAL ELECTION VOTERS. Also fed up with Trump are the voters of last Tuesday’s special election in Michigan. They elected [ [link removed] ] Democrat Chedrick Greene to the state’s Senate, locking in his party’s majority there. That’s not the only place Democrats have been winning. Since Trump reentered office, they’ve outperformed [ [link removed] ] previous Democratic candidates in no less than 193 elections. One of the most heroic things we can do is show up to the polls and make our voices heard. That’s just what all these voters did.
THE JUDICIARY. Despite the ridiculous decisions of the Virginia Supreme Court and Judge JP Boulee, the rest of the judiciary continues to be downright heroic. This week, the trade court struck down [ [link removed] ] Trump’s latest set of tariffs, ruling that the 1970’s law used to justify them doesn’t apply to Trump’s motives. Meanwhile, a federal judge permanently barred [ [link removed] ] the Trump Administration from ending the over $100 million in humanities grants previously clawed back by DOGE. And another judge ruled [ [link removed] ] that the Trump Administration cannot seize the private communications and member information of two medical organizations on transgender health. Good work, judges.
GUIDO REICHSTADTER. This brave man camped out [ [link removed] ] for five days on top of the Frederick Douglass Memorial Bridge in the Capitol in protest of the war in Iran. Before he came down [ [link removed] ], he wrote on X, “I hope that this action has offered something to motivate and inspire you, and that it can serve as fuel for greater commitment and action in the cause of peace and in the fight for our future.” And it really is damn inspiring.
DAVID MODICA. Another citizen who spoke out this week was David Modica, a Massachusetts resident who called out [ [link removed] ] his wealthy town for its stingy housing plan. The town is resisting building additional housing, despite a state law requiring them to do so. Modica made his view on the matter crystal clear at a town meeting, asking the crowd, “Are we kinda being pricks?” We need more people to hold their communities accountable like this.
Did we miss anyone? Send your heroes our way [ mailto:[email protected] ]!
Good Reads for This Week
Don’t Be One of Tucker’s Suckers [ [link removed] ] —Jim Acosta
36 Doctors Just Staged the Quietest Coup in American History [ [link removed] ] —The Grim Historian
Why Is the Most Thoroughly Evidenced Criminal Conduct in Modern American Political History Producing Exactly Zero Criminal Cases Against the People Responsible? [ [link removed] ] —The Existentialist Republic
The Apostate [ [link removed] ] —Boiling Frogs
All the Money in the World, and Then Some [ [link removed] ] —Wanderland
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