This week has been incredibly hard, John.
On Monday, my beautiful butterfly Dylan's classmates started eighth grade without him. The stream of updates from other parents are painful reminders that Dylan is frozen in time – forever 6 years old.
The only way I know to get through is by pushing all my emotions down and distracting myself with this work. I know it's not healthy to keep reliving Dylan's murder, but it's the only way I can protect other children from gun violence – including my surviving son, Jake.
I still worry about Jake every single day. Once, I went to pick him up and his school couldn't find him. I texted his teacher in a panic. When he finally came out of the school, I just burst into tears. He asked, "Why are you crying, Mommy?"
I struggled to find the words to explain to him: The last time I couldn't find one of my kids was when Dylan was murdered. It triggers me.
No other parent should experience this unbearable pain. But with only 12 hours left to raise what we need to expand our lifesaving programs, we're still $83,317 short of our match goal, and I can't bear the thought of putting more children at risk if we can't work fast enough. So please, can I count on you to give now to have your gift go twice as far toward protecting children from gun violence?
I will never stop missing my baby boy. I will never stop wondering what he would look like now or if he would still enjoy school. I will never stop wishing for just one more of his deep, deep hugs.
Thank you for helping me build a legacy for my beautiful butterfly Dylan, and for helping me protect Jake and children across the country from gun violence. Your support means the world to me, especially during difficult weeks like this one.
With love,
Nicole Hockley (Dylan's mom)
