President Trump announced an exciting new Trump-class battleship that will be the largest, fastest, and most powerful battleship fleet in the world. The Babylon Bee has obtained an exclusive schematic of this formidable new war machine: Additional features not pictured will include: 19″ solid gold cannons: Way better than the Yamato’s puny 18.1″ cannons. Escalator […]

chuckmoser/iStock/Getty Images Plus “‘Guns don’t kill people; men and boys kill people,’ experts say,” read an October 2017 USA Today headline. The next month, Democrat Dana Nessel, running for Michigan attorney general, told state residents to support her, not a man. She meant any man because, her reasoning went, a woman won’t likely commit […]

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 7:15 — 10.0MB) Subscribe: Android | | More The movement to suck children into the LGBTQIA+ agenda is a religious cult that operates in academia, media, and on social media platforms like TikTok to recruit and radicalize an army of […]

CLEVELAND, OH — While opening a present shaped like a Tommy gun, local father Fred Reinfeld was once again disappointed to discover it was only socks. “Huh. I was really sure this was going to be a M1928 Thompson Submachine Gun,” Reinfeld said, before quickly catching himself. “I mean — cool. Socks.” According to sources, […]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After the latest batch of Epstein files was released by the Department of Justice, it has become evident to everyone that Jeffrey Epstein, along with being a vile sex trafficker, had some sick fetish for girls with giant black square heads. “It’s disgusting,” Attorney General Pam Bondi said. “But you wanted us […]